I had the experience of going frequently from an East Coast Megalopolis to a Midwestern College Town, and I practically got whiplash from the change in audience: I got laughs and backslaps and high fives on the Coast, and puzzled angry stares in Conservative College Town. My flyover state friends seemed to interpret everything I said literally — they, like, just didn’t *get* it — and it seemed to have far more to do with their expectations than my delivery. Or maybe my jokes just suck on Central Time. Anything’s possible.

I’d like to add a layer to the Letterman topic, on the issue of respect.
My mom entered the male-dominated aviation industry in the early 1970s, as an instructor, chief pilot, then salesrep and eventually VP of sales. It was safe to say that respect from men was something she definitely could not count on–and to some extent I think that is always going to be the case. Her approach? Knock it out of the f*cking park. While my 3 sisters and I were at home watching commercials like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA between our Saturday morning cartoons, my mother was working 9 or 10 hour days at least six days a week. She was out-selling, out-flying, and out-pacing her competitors. She played their old boy tennis games and beat them in their blue-chip golf tournaments. In other words, she wasn’t going to stand around and wait to see if respect was going to be offered. She invested her entire being in it, commanded it, and was hugely successful. BUT (there will always be a but, things will never be perfect) twenty-two years later, after her sales record had kept the company afloat through countless financial struggles, they chose not to offer her the position of general manager when it became available–even told her she didn’t have the “business acumen.” Disrespect? No, thank you. She sued them for age and sex discrimination and won. Eat that, jerks.

My point? I think respect is not a game of logic or reason; we can’t stack up a list of reasons why we deserve it and then expect it to be offered, or even to remain. It’s something we earn–or rather, COMMAND–over and over and over again, every day, with every small choice we make. It is also fragile, delicate and hard to earn back.

Women who are on a path to success as writers, who get hired by Letterman and then decide to take the scenic route through his bed (I’m not knocking it–it bet it’d be a hoot) shouldn’t wonder why they are suddenly off course, or rather, on a different course. What’s great about Tina Fey is that she’s the perfect model of earning respect by working your ass off and being great at what you do. Because really, in the end, all respect is self-respect.