RECESSION SEX WORKERS #9: The Refined Tyranny of Mistress Marzanna Katorga
“The early messages in my family were that women are the source of power. They made the household decisions, held the purse strings, and if the woman of the house was not happy, no one was happy. “
In High school, Marzanna hung out with the geeky new wave crowd who smoked cloves, cut class and drank vodka. I was a blonde cheerleader who dated sexually ambiguous Mormon surfers. She was a year older so our social circles clashed, but I remember Marzanna’s black eyeliner, vintage coats and her hearty laugh. Marzanna and I’ve known each other our whole lives. We went to ballet together when we were five. Our Dads, both staunch Republicans, attend Rotary meetings in our small town. Hungry to escape the insulation of Humboldt County, Marzanna and I were both foreign exchange students. I found her twenty years later on Facebook and she agreed to do this interview about her career as a sadist, her personal relationships and her life as an ex-pat.
The Rumpus: You’ve always been a bright, theatrical person. Did you always know you would live a subversive lifestyle? How does a nice girl from Eureka, CA become a Pro Domme in Berlin?
Mme Marzanna Katorga: I didn’t know I would be a subversive person at all. I was raised to be such a good girl. I had no real desires to be a particular thing when I grew up but I was instilled with a feeling that I was special and therefore something special would happen for me. So, talk about a shattered illusion when I got out into the real world. I really feel like I was raised to be some sort of exiled aristocrat in a world where formality and aristocracy are mostly dead. I mostly wanted to be elegant and artistic and lauded for my creativity and loved. Either that or a veterinarian. So I guess in a way I have become what I wanted. Without the animal doctor part, although I do use vet wrap and needles and I do enjoy treating men like dogs or pigs so maybe I got the best of both worlds. I knew the world was far larger than the few miles radius a small town offers. Mostly I just kept pushing beyond those boundaries I felt in my household growing up. I find fulfillment at the border or near the edge of society.
Rumpus: What were some messages you received about sex in your family and in our small town?
Katorga: The early messages in my family were that women are the source of power. They made the household decisions, held the purse strings, and if the woman of the house was not happy, no one was happy. Things were done to assure the woman of the house was happy, comfortably situated, and she had the things around her just so. Being raised that way and on ballet, opera, theater, and art as well as performing these things in the family living room for guests so that I could be praised for these skills raised me to understand a sense of power and control and femininity. Feminine cruelty and fetishism came later. The messages I received early on were so deeply coded and hidden it was like trying to unravel the human genome. Every hint of sexuality took on a spark for me, and those things that aren’t considered “sex” by most became my codex. High heels that caught the eye of someone and made them double take, lipstick, the barest touch of one hand to another’s arm – these felt like “sex” because I was hyper-alert to human connection and like all young people I was seeking information I filled the gap in my knowledge with fantasy. I believe this has something to do with fetishism and fetishism has everything to do with my personal and professional life. Intimacy was a secret message to be decoded. Touch was electric.
Rumpus: What messages did you receive about beauty and desire? When did you discover you were sexually different than other people?
Katorga: Beauty was when my mother and my grandmother got dressed up to go out or had a dinner party with the table perfectly set and everything had a quality of elegance that masked any hostility or imperfections. There were conversations that were not about what was being said. True desire was hidden and finery replaced deeper urges. Beauty was a certain public appearance of being put together, of being comely. Beauty was something classic and never garish. Beauty was in control; out of control was bad. I spent hours and hours looking at records and photos of ladies in heels and hats and gloves and lipstick, at the heightened femininity of the 1950s. I took every kind of “lady” class imaginable. I was also playing baseball, mowed the lawn and was left to my own devices with mostly male playmates. I hated dolls; I loved army men. I was different from my friends. I spoke using proper English for a start, I wore vintage clothing and I really didn’t know how to fit in very well so I often directed “we are going there” and “we are doing that”. I discovered the power of fishnet stockings and high heels very young. When I was barely a teenager, my first experience with the reality of sexual intercourse was through an act of violence. This is where the strongest message about sex I have carried into my work came right through me, an undeniable message that sex was better as subtlety and under my control and that the act of being fucked lacked grace or complexity.
Rumpus: When and why did you begin doing sex work? What do you do now?
Katorga: People seem to think that if women spank someone or tie some boy up then, voila! We became a Dominatrix!! But that’s not true for me everything around me slowly alchemized to make me who I am.
I’m what I call a Lifestyle Professional Dominatrix. This is what I consider my life’s work – this is my personal sexuality and also my trade. In 1989, when I was 19, my dance instructor and I spoke about how we needed some extra money. The conversation turned to stripping. This was in Portland, Oregon after all which was the strip club capital. Mostly, it was a bonding experience with this woman that I really thought was just the coolest person I’d ever met. We practiced in her living room, drinking wine. This was the first time I had encountered a woman who was independent and empowered in her body.
She was about 15 years older than me. This woman blew me away because she could say and do what she decided she wanted without worrying what others thought. We talked about sexuality and what men wanted and how to move our bodies. We went into “EJ’s” for an audition. I made the mistake of putting the 15 minute long dance mix of “Fascination Street” by the Cure on for my audition and had the longest and most wretched striptease of my life. I really had no desire to get naked, let alone hustle, let alone dance that long to little praise or acclaim. There were about 6 guys in the bar and one of them maybe glanced my way. She did a lot better, but the bartender told her she was too old. Rather than it being a crushing experience, we had a great laugh. It was terrible; we weren’t strippers. I’ve had respect for strippers ever since, it’s an artful skill. I discovered phone sex work in the back of a newspaper. In 1989 you could make some good money on the telephone. I had a line at home and a switchboard sent calls to me. I learned I was in control of their orgasm. I had an excellent memory for voices so I started making cards with details about each client that called me. I learned how to keep them on the phone, how to get them confessing their secret lusts, to build the sexual tension to get to the release. I paid for my apartment and bills this way while going to college. It was more than a little empowering.
Rumpus: How did you learn about BDSM?
Katorga: About this time, I began to think about power, control, sex, and it keyed into some of my interests in leather and I began seeking information about domination. Thanks to some glorious leather men – the real Tom of Finland types – and an era where if you were into leather, it didn’t matter if you were queer or a heterosexual femme. I was just another person into leather and these men took me in. I was so fortunate. I learned a great deal about bondage, sado-masochism, and the details that a skilled top needs to know. Leathermen became my family. I was able to fulfill my tomboyish side once again learning about whip throwing and leather bondage, hanging out with daddies and their boys.
Rumpus: How does Pro Domme work differ from other types of sex work? What do you hope to accomplish during a session?
March 11th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Oooohhh how true it is. I was much more eager to please the powerful women of my childhood than the men. I love how honest and intelligent she is about what she does. To work in the sex industry and have healthcare and a union be still my heart… sigh.
March 12th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
These articles Antonia does are fascinating. For me, it’s an experience of understanding the “other,” since sex workers are w-a-a-y-y-y outside my realm of experience. The first barrier that Antonia broke down for me was thinking that sex workers had nothing else going for them, that it was a last-resort type of career. Wrong. I’ve probably learned more about human nature in these columns than I have in all my psychology classes. Keep it up!
March 13th, 2010 at 5:51 am
Sex workers do the dirty for many reasons, but primarily they do it for the money and the freedom that making untaxed cash in a few hours provides. There are sex workers who claim it’s an art form. I’m wondering when it became a bad thing to work for money. I would also argue that most people I know are whoring on some level and that whoring is not morally repugnant. Some could argue that it’s degrading work no matter how it’s accessorized. But, for me, working at Starbucks, or Disneyland for mininum wage is much more degrading than stripping or Domming.
March 13th, 2010 at 10:55 am
As a teacher of women’s lit, I find the stories women have to tell fascinating. While the sex worker world is not one I am familiar with, the narrative is one of hard work, dedication, and living the dream. Isn’t that what everyone wants? I hope that as a society we can learn not to judge people for the choices they make, but rather work to understand those who are not like us. Thanks, Antonia, for continuing to enlighten us with your investigations of all women.
March 13th, 2010 at 11:49 am
I’ve always looked at sex work as this enticing, yet forbidden underworld. On one hand, the demand is made by a majority of our population, and on the other hand we are quick to judge those who provide the service. I related to Katorga’s hyper-alertness to human connection and it’s often made me wonder what is normative behavior and what is truly deviant. My own hyper-alertness has shaped my desires and sexuality, but in a “socially acceptable” manner. And by socially-acceptable, I mean I can talk to someone about what I like without getting too many side-eyes. Anything that falls outside of that definition, I keep to myself. (Do they have a name for people like me?) A friend of mine in LA once tried to explain BDSM to me, and I couldn’t compute. This article made things clearer to me because I was able to relate to Katorga’s metamorphosis. Particularly, her discovery phase when she began to work with her dance instructor. I’m always blown away by women who feel empowered and comfortable in their own skin. Although there is a degree of repression in me, I still have a desire to flaunt uninhibitedly. Inotherwords, I’m one of those people that dresses like a slut on Halloween. Can we say slut on here?
March 13th, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Hey, y ‘all, this is a fabulous discussion. I wish were sitting in a room having coffee together. Your comment, Antonia, that most people are whoring on some level, and the freedom and untaxed cash that comes with a few hours of sex work, hit home. Who decides what’s right or wrong for each of us? No one but ourselves, and if we come out of it with a deeper understanding of our own life, as each of your interviewees clearly has, we’re far better off. I’m wrestling right now with having adhered to other people’s standards of rightness. In a way, I envy the women you write about for their strength; they’re not taking shit from anyone, including their own super-egos.
March 13th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
I’m glad Sakena was honest about being self conscious regarding social norms. It’s human to fear judgement, though I think our opinions and judgments are what makes us entertaining and human. It has to do with what you’ve internalized and your response to that. Tina said above that she thinks of sex work as a “last ditch career.” There’s a concern for sex workers that they don’t have anything else going on in their lives. Do these people worry that the checkout guy at the grocery store has other things going on in his life or if this is his last ditch career? Do people worry that Lady Gaga has nothing else going on in her life than being a vacuous, talentless spectacle? Does anyone hope that the waitress gets more college so she can do other things with her life? You have to ask yourself where you got these values and why one type of work is valued over another type. And why is it less virtuous to do something just for the money? It comes down to what you can live with. I felt horrible at times being a personal assistant. Like I was enabling a spoilt, irresponsible twat. Dommes push people past their sexual and psychological thresholds and it’s enjoyable for both people. And, they make sick money per hour.
March 15th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
The “view from the inside” Antonia presents is broad and fascinating. I wish my own mother could have had the attitude and power outlined in these articles. This interview, in particular, makes me realize how much we all need to see what is really going on in the sexworker community. The open discussion and frank details kept me reading. To respond to Antonia’s response to Tina’s comment about “last ditch careers”…yes. I don’t think much of the checker at the market, since they have a union and make better wages than I do, as a teacher, but I do think of the box boys and the “sales associates” at WalMart as needing more in their lives. Yes, I do hope, and often advise my waitress to go back to school so she can do other things in her life.
It’s important to me.
March 15th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Great interview, Antonia!
March 16th, 2010 at 12:08 am
Another great article in the series. I adore anyone who marches to their own beat. Well I guess she actually is the one doing the beating, but, you get my analogy. Great work Antonia and Romy’s pictures are spot on. The combo of this creative team continues to wow and makes me look forward to reading ‘Rumpus’.