For school administrators, Melissa both broke the law (all questions of the validity of prostitution laws aside) and made herself a target for anger and suspicion on the part of the parents in her community. Both of these things make her quite a bad hire. Unless she had unusually good relationships with the parents of the children she teaches, she had to know that several of those parents would become upset upon finding out her history (again, I am not siding with this point of view; I am stating a fact that I am sure Melissa was already aware of). She had to have known that with this reveal, she was essentially asking the school administrators to either spend a good amount of time and resources protecting her or to let her go. Additionally, Melissa did not choose to reveal her past after a lifetime of work and solid professional relationships, but rather chose to reveal her past after three years, which happens to coincide right with tenure. This might suggest to an administrator that either she was waiting to use her tenure as a protection to start airing her personal social agenda that is generally (publicly) not an appropriate topic for children (and yes, of course the kids would find out), or that she wanted to get relieved from classroom duty while still collecting pay. Both of these would probably seem unacceptable to an employer, though the second one would seem worse than the first.

From the point of view of a (concerned) parent, a school teacher is someone who helps your child learn, and someone whose personal life you have no interaction with (usually). There is no context for the personal life being made public / brought into the sphere of the school. The teacher is essentially a “familiar stranger” – but because they are not known on a personal level, not at all above suspicion generally. Any kind of unusual sexual behavior will immediately raise red flags in parents minds because of the teacher’s “familiar stranger” status and because children are a particularly vulnerable group.

All of this suggests to me that if Melissa really would like more social fluidity, she should be attacking the margins of where public / private life intertwine, finding ways to create more of a “grey” zone – even if that is only within her own community, or an intentional one she seeks out. If she were in a community or setting where the public / private distinction was not so clearly defined (as one commenter suggested, a librarian, perhaps) I’d bet this wouldn’t really be an issue. Whether or not it is correct for the school setting to be so stringent in it’s public / private distinctions might be up for debate, but in general, I think I prefer teachers (especially in large city schools) to keep their personal agendas to themselves.

I can’t speak for anyone else; but speaking for myself, I have spent twelve years of my life as a sex worker. My feeling is that now, at 30, I’m going to make it count for something; something besides truthfully being able to say I’ve had a hell of a good time

A person is not defined by their past; they are defined by what they choose to do with it.

It has nothing to do with seeking redemption nor dignity; dignity is attained by carrying oneself with pride and with honor in spite of or perhaps because of the cards life has dealt them.

Have a wonderful day,

Kelly James

I admire your courage and integrity to speak out honestly, regardless of the consequences. No matter what the school system does, you will come out the better for it. The reward of being able to live fully as yourself, embracing your past as well as your present, is so much rewarding than any job can ever be. You have such a beautiful, powerful voice and I am glad that it is not fettered by fear.

Society stigmatizes and restricts sex as a means of controlling the population. Sex and power are so deeply intertwined. If society did not make sex a scarce commodity there would be no need for prostitution or other forms of sexual enterprise. Sex workers challenge the control that religious. “moral,” and legal authorities try to maintain and so they are vilified. Speak your truth, Melissa. Perhaps one day our society will attain the level of integrity that you have found.

I don’t believe in “once a prostitute always a prostitute.” We need to accept women who are attempting to continue their lives into areas other than sex work. Thank you for speaking out and I hope that you will continue on to teach. Sex workers are certainly not the reason public schools are failing. If anything I think that sex workers could be beneficial to the school system. They can bring to the table a softened heart, intelligence, and strength, that many other teachers don’t.

Also, I think it creates hostility to distinguish between legal prostitutes, porn actors, strippers and street walkers too much. There are more similarities than differences and it’s better to stand together than vilify each other. I am going to contact you to continue this discussion.

Love, Antonia