Comments on: Conversations With Writers Braver Than Me #4: Stephen Elliott

By: cheyennebode

cheyennebode — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 17:40:12 +0000

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS ARE WRENCHING BECAUSE A GENETIC PATRIOTISM EXISTS THAT IS PERMANENT…NO MATTER THE HURT..THE BLOOD RETAINS THE ANCIENT ROOTS..

By: Ray

Ray — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 00:31:27 +0000

Hey Sari, I ran across this quote in the archives of a screenwriting blog today and it reminded me of you:

I have a friend who wrote AN ENTIRE BOOK so she could hand it to her father and he’d be proud of her and he’d hug her and tell her how wonderful it was that she’d done this fantastic thing and she’d cry and it’d be amaaaaazing. She got her book published and the great day came and she handed the book to her father and the fucker he didn’t even open it to see what she’d inscribed. He tossed it on the counter and said, “Maybe I’ll get around to reading it.” Shot down and shredded, she collapsed into therapy for half a decade. She’d spent every single day of the entire two years it took to write it, hoping for his approval and didn’t get it.

http://yourscreenplaysucks.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/don%E2%80%99t-write-for-anybody-but-yourself/

I hope you write that book.

By: sally king

sally king — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 22:10:25 +0000

I love this interview. Sari I was cut off by my brother about 25 years ago and would be thrilled if one of his kids wanted to know about me. My brother and I are like opposite sides of the same coin. We polarized under the pressure of living in a dysfunctional home. He became a corporate lawyer and I – became me. I’m like his dark side. His kids would know him a whole lot better if they knew me, or, knew my reasons for being me, the choices I made. You’ve definitely got a book in that connection. Thanks to Stephen Elliot for his really insightful comments about coming to terms with a difficult person.

By: Sarah E

Sarah E — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 22:00:58 +0000

I like how the misspellings of “insights” and “censor” add whole new meanings to what (I think) was said. WWFD? =)

As an aside, six years of 4x-a-week, lie-on-the-couch psychoanalysis is what got me beyond this whole Daddy Demonic thing. Maybe it could be of help here, too.

By: rob roberge

rob roberge — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 20:55:25 +0000

Really interesting interview/conversation. Thanks so much for the sharp stuff here from both Sari and Stephen. An old writer friend of mine once told me that, when writing autobiographical fiction or memoir, you had to write as if everyone you are writing about was already dead, so you wouldn’t censure yourself. But that you had to find a way to do it with empathy–that everyone is doing what they THINK is the best they can do.

Interesting stuff–thanks.

By: Good Jim Jones

Good Jim Jones — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 19:04:38 +0000

Great conversation..I read the Adderall Diaries, great book. I became a fan and found Rumpus as well. seems like we all have issues with our fathers and writing in an honest way does seem to help, although it’s hard. I’m a songwriter and I release those demons within me by writing songs. With my conflict with my father, I’m taking care of this 87 year old ex-marine, he came up with a line to a song I thought was great..He was fixing himself another beer when my mom,she’s 85, asks him what he’s doing. He said he’s drinking his way to Heaven. I thought, if that’s not a CW song,Ive never heard one..So, I wrote the song, played it to friends and have yet to play it for him..I guess I’m doing the same thing as well, fear of what he thinks.When and if the time comes I’ll play it in front of him, although I’m not going out of my way to play it for him…Maybe this is a cop out, but I don’t think it will be published, although several people said it should. Thanks for your wonderful incites about your father..I’m a fan..the Good

By: Sari Botton

Sari Botton — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 22:28:23 +0000

I’ll have to think about that one, Sarah E. Thanks for your perspective on it.

By: Sarah E

Sarah E — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 22:08:06 +0000

What happens if your father (god forbid, of course) dies before you write this book? Do you think it will make it easier for you to write this stuff down, then? Or will you rue that your father didn’t get a chance to read it?

Coming from a person who had to cut her emotional terrorist Dad out of her life in order to make a life, but who sat and held his hand while he passed on. Nothing resolved, mind you, but it was a meaningful moment. (Probably because he couldn’t hurt me anymore, the shape he was in.)

By: Sugar

Sugar — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 20:34:46 +0000

Beautiful. Important. True. Thanks, Sari and Stephen.

By: Sari Botton

Sari Botton — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 19:48:51 +0000

Thanks for your encouragement, guys. I am so going to do this…