THE NAP MY NEIGHBOR TOOK
★★★★★ (2 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing the nap my neighbor took.
In my closet is a small window, and if I stand on my tiptoes (or set a chair on top of a small table) I can see across the way into my neighbor’s bedroom. Today he was taking a nap.
He was under the covers with an open book face down on his chest, and was most likely dreaming about whatever the book was about. I couldn’t make out the title, but there was a dragon on the cover of the book (Harry Potter?), so it was probably a pretty wild dream. My guess is that he was being attacked by the dragon, because about 40 minutes into the nap he started thrashing his arms around like something horrible was happening in his head. He looked a little sweaty.
The thrashing only lasted less than a minute. He either defeated the dragon, was killed by the dragon and continued the dream as a corpse, or moved onto a new dream. It looked to me like he had a slight erection under the blanket, so it might have been a sex dream. I hope he wasn’t involved in some strange dragon-sex. I don’t feel comfortable imagining him in such a situation.
It occurred to me that if he had died in the dream, the dragon could be defiling his corpse. Also, some people have said that when you die in your dream you die in real life, and I suddenly became panicked. I grabbed my phone to call 911 but then decided to try calling my neighbor first, just to check. What a relief it was to see him wake up.
He sounded very groggy and I hung up immediately. I felt a little bad for waking him, especially since he wasn’t able to get back to sleep, but it was either me or the paramedics.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Jesus.