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FUNNY WOMEN #86: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Mantis

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Did Steve Harvey’s bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man resonate with you? Then you’ll LOVE its nature-inspired spinoff, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Mantis. Here’s a look inside the book on how to get what you want out of love, relationships, intimacy, and commitment.

 

Table of Contents:

Part I: The Mindset of a Praying Mantis
It all starts at the ootheca egg mass
One mantis doesn’t speak for the genus: Keep an open mandible
How to stop his head from swiveling 180 degrees
Devouring his thorax too soon and other gestures that make mantises run for cover
Compound vs. simple eyes: See yourself in your quarry
Are you a moth, cricket grasshopper, or a fly? Pinning his type down with your leg spikes
Unlocking his death drive: Why he wants to be eaten

Part II: Why Mantises Do What They Do  
First things first: Putting the “patient” in patiently stalking
The nymph in him: Why he’s attracted to a thicker abdomen
Long-winged, short-winged, or vestigal-winged: Make the most of your segments
Perfecting the dismount: How mantises distinguish between prey and partners
Reading his camouflage when new quarry is around

Part III: The Playbook: How to Win the Life-Cycle
Crushing the competition: Use your cerci
“Your mandibles, his thorax” and other tips for bedroom bliss
The 5 threat displays that show him you aren’t messing around
The 24-hour rule: Why artificial lights attract nature’s losers
Can he flexibly articulate your prothorax?
If you’re picturing the nymphs before you bite his head off, it’s too late
Advice from your cousin: think like a roach
Sealing the deal: If you don’t eat him, he WILL cheat
Better safe than sorry: Why 400 eggs is better than 40
Getting to the final molt

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Kendra Eash is engaged to a woman who loves a good lesbian bonfire. She tweets @JeriBlank. More from this author →