Comments on: SELF-MADE MAN #18: In Real Life

By: juliannechat

juliannechat — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:57:55 +0000

Forgive a stupid question, but is there a Self Made Man #18? I would like to collect the full set. Skipping a number is cool, OuLiPo messes with my head way worse than that, but if it’s just an internet glitch (or “user error”) that I can’t find the essay before this one, please help.

(I will also deal with the content, but process comes first with me.)

Stunned by Thom’s writing and thank you all in advance!

By: happier

happier — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 23:58:36 +0000

To Bob: I am not a dyke. Never was. And transitioning has made me so much happier in my body. It has also made me a better feminist, since I’ve had to learn to be more active in how I support feminist concerns (instead of just having the world assume I’m a feminist because I was a masculine-looking woman). I don’t see how my transition hurts lesbians, or feminism.

By: silp

silp — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:17:06 +0000

Just one thing (about a fragment of your great piece): I’m a woman (biologically born as such), and I can tell you that almost every time I was told something like “you’re a woman… you know”, I’ve felt really uneasy. Those are stereotyped phrases, used mostly between strangers and-or acquaintances. And I’ve often thought that the persons who utter them do so because they feel that you can’t actually relate to them. They cling to the only, basic and shallow common ground they can think of. I see your point: if ‘you’ link your uneasiness to your gender identity, your gender identity is linked to your uneasiness. But maybe – in this case – a non-trans narrative could help a bit: non-trans can feel just as discomforted having to pretend to “know” what one means just on the basis of shared biological gender… anyway: thanks very much for your writing, is enlightening!

By: Bob

Bob — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:32:09 +0000

It’s not that I didn’t see myself in your narrative, that’s not what upset me. The only thing that upsets me about any of this is the fact you felt a need to change your actual body and posing body changes as a valid way to approach gender expression. I think that’s really dangerous. I also feel that as a MOVEMENT, the transitioning f2m queers are reinforcing the sex/gender conflation, undermining the work of feminists, and betraying other dykes who need them. It seems so me-me-me, and it seems so White. Like, privileged. Like, ya’ll have all this time on your hands, all this education, and money too… so it’s all an interesting game to you, and a journey. Whereas women are born into oppression, and are fighting something they didn’t CHOOSE and can’t escape. So, you feel you’re doing good in the world to tell your narrative, and maybe you are. But good intentions aren’t everything.

By: Elson

Elson — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 06:34:57 +0000

All net, Tommy, from the top of the key.

By: Thomas Page McBee

Thomas Page McBee — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 02:24:34 +0000

Thank you for reading and talking to me, folks. I really appreciate the time you take in writing these comments. Bob Doe, to your point: I know how frustrating it is to not see your story out in the world, and that’s why I tell my own–I didn’t connect with any of the narratives about my body available to me. I know some trans folks really feel that “born in the wrong body” is their story, and that’s great! I just don’t, and we live in a culture that’s latched onto that one perspective above all else, which is always detrimental–we need diversity in narratives. Overall, I’m inclined to the personal–it’s my nature, as a writer and a human being. I don’t speak for anyone else, and I try to be very clear about that. As an editor and journalist, I’ve certainly covered issues important to trans folks, but as an artist I’ll always be wired this way–I see from the inside-out, and that’s how I tell my story. I hope everybody sees a little of themselves in it, and I hope that doing this work does makes even a small amount of difference to someone who, like me, didn’t see themselves anywhere. I hope that you feel even a little seen here–and if you do, I feel I’ve succeeded.

By: maddox

maddox — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 22:08:39 +0000

This one floored me. That is all. Thank you Thomas.

By: Bob Doe

Bob Doe — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:49:43 +0000

I have been following your articles since the beginning and have found them quite warm and well written. That said, as a trans man I also find them slightly off-putting. I respect your point of view and agree that there are more narratives for trans-ness than 1. However, you speak only from one narrative yourself. The born in the wrong body narrative is narrow, but, could use some delving into. You seem very open minded and compassionate, and, are a very good writer. Maybe you could use one of the forums you write for to interview other trans people on their narratives and use your strengths to really open the conversation to a wide breadth of narratives. I’ve read your pieces about trans people being mis-reported and reported on by people who don’t quite have a baseline understanding of the issue. Clearly you are doing your part by reporting your own very different narrative and that is commendable. But, you’re smart and you’re reporting in the media, how about you report on the many narratives you speak about? No disrespect, brother!

By: Nora Jane Williams

Nora Jane Williams — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:33:28 +0000

Thomas Page: I’ve been following your self made articles and this one is particularly articulate. You have always been such a beautiful writer- you are always just you- trapped or not trapped,man or woman, gay or straight, black or white- we are all so simple and complex in our humanity- the important narrative you bring up is the relating on that level.Thank you for writing it so well, to have your voice in the world is a gift:)

By: jesse

jesse — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:29:51 +0000

I think that betrayal is a complicated word. I think it’s “I want to tell you who I am but if I do, this magic of being myself, a man among men, will disappear because you have made an assumption about who I am.” That reflected idea-the disco ball.