Comments on: Sympathy for the Devil

By: Carol R

Carol R — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 21:19:02 +0000

Chris, we’ve walked some of the same paths, You’ve done a Wonderful job of describing a couple of ‘coming-out’ experiences–both as being Gay, and growing out and away from your fundamentalist upbringing. Neither is easy, but doing both in the most positive manner is possible.

By: Jeff Wagg

Jeff Wagg — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 18:20:29 +0000

I disagree with Travis. A more severe response would have been proof to her that she was right all along—you have a demon inside you. Knee-jerk emotion is seldom the best advisor for behavior. Keep up the good work, Chris.

By: Travis

Travis — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 17:17:28 +0000

Did your response just empower her to continue to deliver her hatefull message? A more severe response may have given her pause the next time she feels the need to attack someone. That next person may not be a secure as you, and may actually be damaged by her comments. I am not sure, but I think you may have caused more harm than good in this exchange.

By: Elisabeth W.

Elisabeth W. — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 23:19:25 +0000

Thank you for telling a story that so clearly proposes what shame turned around might look like. It’s one thing to know that there will be no victory for love until I vividly imagine the experience of those who have refused to imagine my otherness; it’s another thing to act that out.

Your straightforward (and terrifying) choice to look at that young woman, to let her experience in, and to thank her shows just what being broken is good for: being broken open, wide enough to shelter those who are unable to shelter you.

Thank you so much.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 23:05:37 +0000

Thanks for writing this. My husband really appreciated your talk at Wild Goose, and I love The Rumpus, so I was really excited to see your writing appear here and pass along the link to him!

Thanks for doing the work to tell your story.

By: Isy Aweigh

Isy Aweigh — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 21:54:09 +0000

Absolutely breathtaking piece. I’m really moved.

You’ve hit on one of the great truths of humanity: sincere kindness can go much farther than rage, when applied at the right time.

I too wonder what pebbles are sliding in the mountains of her psyche now.

By: Jim Ericson

Jim Ericson — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:48:42 +0000

This is an amazing article! Thank you for sharing this.

By: Justin Hocking

Justin Hocking — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:46:58 +0000

Wonderful essay, Chris.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 02:33:14 +0000

I’m so glad that you wrote this. It’s pieces like these that make me wish The Rumpus had a bigger audience. I mean, most of their stuff is great, but this essay in particular is something that a wide range of people would seriously benefit from.

“Is it best to respond to bigotry with patience in every instance? Perhaps not. Should everyone have responded the way I did in that situation? I don’t know.”

I especially appreciated that line — it’s not often that you (well, at least I) encounter people capable of understanding that there is no formula for ethical behavior/discourse.

By: betsy

betsy — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:47:55 +0000

i’m kind of humbled by your personal growth. having broken free of that kind of religious experience, i still shake and tremble with anger inside when i encounter born-agains. “god told me to tell you to shut the fuck up” is what i told the last one. maybe some day i can be more like you. thanks for this – i enjoyed reading it.