The Problem with the Problem with Memoir
I got an email from a friend yesterday asking me if I’d seen this article on Gawker, Journalism Is Not Narcissism, by Hamilton Nolan. I hadn’t but I was aware of the argument. It’s an easy one to make, that memoir and personal essay are killing journalism.
I’m not sure why this one stuck with me, maybe because I hadn’t read one of these screeds in a while. It reminded me of Taylor Antrim’s cheap essay on the Daily Beast about why some memoirs are better as novels.
Hamilton talks about writers struggling to be read and editors using personal essays as link bait. At last count his essay had 40,737 hits and 182 comments. Blog posts attacking memoir also make for good link bait.
In his piece Hamilton says that most people’s lives are not that interesting. In other words, your life is not interesting enough for a memoir. I would dispute that. Most people’s lives are very interesting but most people don’t look at their lives in an interesting way. The unexamined life is never interesting. If a good memoir was merely predicated on having an interesting life then some of the best books would be celebrity memoirs. These people live a life most of us know nothing about. But celebrity memoirs are rarely interesting, despite how interesting their lives appear from the outside. The problem is not that they don’t live interesting lives, it’s that they’re not writers.
It’s easy to point to bad memoirs and use them to attack the entire form but the form is never the problem. When you attack personal writing you attack Jack Kerouac, Ernest Hemingway, and Sylvia Plath. In truth most books are bad and most publishers are risk averse. Many bookstores are going out of business. The changing media landscape has made it harder for journalists to make a living. But that’s not a problem with memoir.
Hamilton says that we are raising a generation of robotic insta-memoirists. He calls this journalism as narcissism. He says when you write about yourself you will soon be all used up and then you’ll start writing bad books. But that happens to everyone, not just memoirists. We get older, we lose some of the heat we had for certain stories. If we’re unable to move on to other fires it’s true that our writing will become cold. So many writers never live up to the promise of their first couple of books. Someone said when we’re younger all we care about is fame and access and when we’re older all we care about is money. What that person meant was that our values change and it impacts our ability to write. David Foster Wallace talked about this, the difficulty of accepting praise for something you’ve already written, knowing you might never write something that good again.
But what about Joan Didion, or Tobias Wolff? There are certainly authors who write many memoirs or novels where the protagonist is a stand-in for the author. Only truly great writers can pull it off, but how many people even write one great book?
As for the larger argument, the argument that isn’t actually argued, but rather stated as if we all accepted it as fact, memoir does not actually equal narcissism. If you know journalists then you know there are many among them you would consider narcissists. And if you know memoirists, especially the really good ones, you know they are more curious than most about the world around them. I’m thinking of the few who I know well, Dave Eggers, Tobias Wolff, Cheryl Strayed, Nick Flynn. These are all amazing listeners. They inhale their surroundings.
Of course, that’s a pretty high standard, but isn’t that the standard we’re aspiring to? I’m sure there are many memoirs written by narcissists, but I doubt they’re very good. Even looking over my own work, my own daily emails, the worst ones are generally written when I’m too far down a hole to connect my life to the larger world.
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originally published in The Daily Rumpus.

January 3rd, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Just a cursory reply to say I agree re: narcissism. It is when I most write the truth of my own life that I most fall in love with it and, in turn, with everyone else and the stories of their lives.
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:31 pm
I am constantly telling people that writers write. They think because I was punk, a junkie, homeless, music promoter that these are the only ingredients of a great book. I beg to differ. For instance, Nick Flynn, whose initial story comes at the end of a great deal of sorrow surrounding his mother. yet that is not the engine behind his story. First and foremost it is the writing. And writing with means of discovery and not of fulfillment. I am starting to wonder if intention might hinder most writers. I can have an audience in mind, but who am I to dictate how the story comes out. Thanks Stephen, great shit.
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:54 pm
If Hemingway can write about a lunch of white wine and oysters, then there’s hope for all of us. I know that I will never tire of “A Moveable Feast,” among other, similar things.
There are so many kinds of readers that we need so many kinds of writers. Can’t say that the judgmental Gawker piece makes me want to read Hamilton’s work again–I don’t like who I am when I finish reading things that limit the world, and not open it wide in flight.
January 4th, 2013 at 5:38 am
Think your last line is the key – its about connection.
Journalists report facts (or, at least, should!). Good Journalists report the facts in a way that connects these facts to the wider world; the context, the consequences. Great Journalists connect the facts and the wider world to the reader; the consequences, the personal responsibility to be involved with what one reads, the possible responses.
Memoirists report experiences. Good Memoirists report these experiences in a way that connects them to the wider world, bringing new perspectives and new insight to the world around us. Great Memoirists connect their experiences to the wider world and the reader; offering to share with the reader their empathy, their hard-won tragedy and beauty, their glimmers of hope to apply to the world.
Its not about the form or the genre. Its about the connections.
January 4th, 2013 at 8:59 am
Linus, you summed up the difference between journalism and memoir so well, I may just “borrow” that!
January 4th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Thanks Jennifer. Be my guest. Everything i know about memoir I learnt right here reading stuff on this site, so thanks goes to the rumpus really. Thanks rumpus.
January 5th, 2013 at 3:45 am
I think the Gawker piece came from the fact that the professor a) was teaching a journalism class, and b) was requiring students to confess to her their deepest secrets, and c) crowed in the NYT about it. It’s not that memoir is bad, it’s that memoir was being presented to students as a form of journalism – the class being taught was Feature Writing.
Memoir is a wonderful and vital form of creative nonfiction writing, better taught in an MFA program than journalism school. A wonderful book on the art of memoir is “Memoir: A History,” which tracks the form’s triumphs and pitfalls. Yagoda notes that most these days are essentially secular redemption stories – the deeper the fall, the steeper the climb; he points out the real problem with the memoir is often fabrication.
January 5th, 2013 at 10:04 am
Stephen, I agree with you that every person’s life is fascinating. Every one of us could be the subject of a great book. But, like you say, it is how well it is written that makes for a story worth reading.
Life IS in the details and it is those well-observed details and the connection to the larger whole that makes for a riveting story.
A good writer can write about anything…a single day, a meal or a fragment of their life and when done capably, will hold us in their thrall. You’re right that we should be aspiring to that standard as readers and writers. Thanks.
January 9th, 2013 at 2:37 am
The key to a good memoir- hell, to any good book – is that it’s both an interesting story and written in a way that it provides connection. If you just describe your life, focusing on the “I” rather than the where, when, who- the Why and How- your writing will be narcissistic, because it’s not telling a story. Creative non fiction is a tricky gig because you are relying on memory. And as A Million Little Pieces showed, memories can be fickle and untrustworthy as reliable news sources. Great thoughts here- and Linus I’m borrowing your thoughts as well to share with my students, who are writing- you guessed it- personal essays.