I am glad to be free of that tyrant, even if it means I am an end table waddling inch-by-inch down this path on a foolish mission that might prove impossible. I may be an end table, but at least I am free....more
Dana Schwartz has written for NewYorker.com, the Guardian, GQ, Marie Claire, Glamour, The Observer, VICE, and more. Her debut YA novel, And We're Off, was released in May 2016. She's currently a correspondent at Entertainment Weekly.