Monday 10/22: Free comedy in North Beach at Melt the Mic, featuring Lynn Ruth Miller, the “poster girl for growing old disgracefully.” Free, 8pm. Melt Cafe.

Tuesday 10/23: Booksmith hosts author Mark Danielewski’s multimedia “a ghost story for grownups,” Fifty Year Sword to the Swedish American Hall with NPR’s Chris O’Riley. $15, 7:30pm.

Wednesday 10/24: City Lights hosts RADAR’s Sister Spit Anthology Reading, featuring  groundbreaking figures from the lesbian-feminist spoken word collective, inclding Cassie J. Sneider, Ali Liebegott, Ben McCoy, Sara Seinberg, MariNaomi, Rhiannon Argo, Tamara Llosa-Sandor, Kat Marie Yoas, Michelle Tea. Free, 7pm.

Thursday 10/25: The Center for the Art of Translation launches the 19th installment of TWO LINES, a yearly anthology of world literature and poetry in translation. Featuring writers and translators reading selections from the release. $5 suggested donation, 6pm, Chronicle Books.

Friday 10/26: The California College of the Arts MFA Writers Series presents Sarah Shun-lien Bynum author of Ms. Hempel Chronicles, a finalist for the 2009 PEN/Faulkner Award. Free, 3:30pm.

Saturday 10/27: Developing Environments, one of San Francisco’s earliest legal artist residences, celebrates its 40th anniversary with an open studio featuring a historic SF photo exhibition, live music, and an “audio ‘story booth’ for members of the community and surrounding neighborhood to share and record their memories of the past.” Free, 11am-6pm.

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

2:57 pm Fakhir
Hi my dear
wy are you silent i dont understand you ?
do you hate me or something?

3:00pm Alina
Hi Fakhir. I don’t hate you.

3:01pm Fakhir
so what? why dont answer me ?

3:02pm Alina
I know this might be hard to believe, but sometimes I have Facebook open?
…and simply walk away from the computer.
It makes me feel drunk with freedom.

3:03pm Fakhir
so do you drink?

3:04pm Alina
I like the way your mind works, Fakhir. I do tipple on occasion. And you?

3:04pm Fakhir
i dont drink at all

3:05pm Alina
Interesting! And why is that?

3:05pm Fakhir
i dont know it is prohibited in our religion

3:06pm Alina
I see! So the plan is: don’t drink, go to heaven?

3:06pm Fakhir
yea
i dont realy know if there is a heaven
do you believe in god?

3:09pm Alina
This chat has really zoomed from the mundane to the philosophical!
In my more whimsical moments, I definitely believe in God.
But I only find myself praying when I really need a parking spot or for the train to come.
Maybe I believe in a God of Transportation?

3:10pm Fakhir
ohhhhh my GOD we should pray 5 times a day, are you christian?

3:12pm Alina
If I prayed 5 times a day, I’d have a TON of parking spaces! It’s worth thinking about, for sure.
I am kind of sort of Christian. But only in the lamest possible way.

3:13pm Fakhir
ok. what is your job my dear

3:14pm Alina
Right now my job is to have a finger available whenever my baby feels like sucking on it.
But also? I am a writer. In fact, I have this column called Facebook Chats With Random Men.

3:15pm Fakhir
arent you a singer ?

3:15pm Alina
Oh right! And I am also a singer. Thanks for reminding me.

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

9:23am Fakhir
Hi

10:52am Fakhir
Hi my prettty darling

11:28am Fakhir
هاوڕێیان سەلامی خواتان لێبێت

11:31am Alina
huh?

11:31am Fakhir
means hi how r u ?

11:32am Alina
Wow, and here I was thinking it was a procession of schizophrenic ants!

11:35am Fakhir
hhhhhhhhhhh
wys up?
wts going on?

11:39am Alina
Sorry. I’m fine. How are you?

11:40am Fakhir
same my dear. i sent my salutations several times but there was no answer. i felt sorry for myself.

11:42am Alina
Wow. I’m sorry to hear that, Fakhir.

11:42am Fakhir
I was crying till now.
weeping
I thought may be you are angry with again

11:44am Alina
Fakhir, Jesus dear man, pull yourself together!
After all, I’m just a bunch of pixels that you’ve never even met…

11:51am Fakhir
I love you sooooooo much my pretty darling. forget about it you are alone everything for me.
Don’t say that please you are very honoruoble.

12:03pm Alina
Fakhir… we have to talk.
Not only do I live in the United States, but I’m also married. Plus? I don’t know you.

12:04pm Fakhir
what do you mean?

12:04pm Alina
Which of these statements confused you?

12:05pm Fakhir
I dont know
none of them, JUST because I said I love ?
please dont get me wrong, i love everybody in this world.

12:11pm Alina
Oh, well in that case, we’re fine! I didn’t realize I was the target of a globe-encompassing beam of love.

12:14pm Fakhir
I have a very srong and passionate heart, that is a cradle for everybody in this world, especialy those i know, and you can know me better.

12:17pm Alina
ok!

12:18pm Fakhir
ok?
so go ahead

3:12pm Fakhir
so…

6:14pm Fakhir
Hi my darling

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

12:41pm
helllo aline simone , some one are waiting for you but you are not give me response why?

2:18pm
Hi Imran Akhtar. So sorry to have, er, kept you waiting! How are you? Who are you? Where are you?

2:20pm
I’m fine dear madam I’m really like you ,
my name is imran belong to lahore pakistan
I’m software engineer
i also know you are dislike pakistanis
same as?

2:23pm
Imran! Kind sir! Where did you hear I dislike Pakistanis?!? This is totally not true. How on earth did we go from “hello” to “you dislike Pakistanis” with such ferretlike speed?

2:33pm
Dear Alina so sorry for late response actually i was taking diner

2:34pm
I have been anxiously waiting!

2:35pm
I heard some people say that pakistanis are bad people
last day i was chating a girl which belong to uk
she said me I hate pakistanis
in fact really i love more those people who hate us?
any way … please tell me what do u do?
r u busy now?

2:46pm
Yes, well, there was that whole Osama thing…a rough bit of PR for Pakistainies, that one. But it’s not like YOU personally invited Osama over to your home and let him use your XBox and fed him your Pakistani-equivalent to Cheerios and shared a toilet seat with him. It’s stupid to hate Pakistani’s for that reason. It would be like Pakistani’s hating all Americans because we harbor Glenn Beck. Sorry to go on like that… Anyways, I’m a singer! And yes, I’m busy writing to you at this very moment aren’t I, you crazy trickster!

2:54pm
Imran? Hello??

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

11:39pm Kleber
hey quick queztion

11:39pm Alina
listening

11:39pm Kleber
i’m afraid to talk to people

11:39pm Alina
You still haven’t fixed your “s” key

11:40pm Kleber
social phobia

11:40pm Alina
Ok. Go on.
Keep in mind I’m just a random stranger on Facebook.

11:40pm Kleber
what’s your advice for me
talking to people in facebook is easy
but in real life i feel afraid

11:41pm Alina
You have a pregnant girlfriend. You weren’t afraid to talk to her! And you didn’t get her pregnant through Facebook!

11:42pm Kleber
i lied
sorry i’m really sorry

11:42pm Alina
WHAT?!?!?!?!

11:42pm Kleber
that’z my problem

11:42pm Alina
But why…?

11:43pm Kleber
i just wanted to feel, i don’t kno

11:43pm Alina
Aww, Klebes.

11:43pm Kleber
i’d love to have a kid one day

11:43pm Alina
Sure.

11:44pm Kleber
so what’s your advice for me
how can i become more zocial

11:45pm Alina
That depends on a lot of things. Why don’t you find some people who love the same things you do? That way you already have something mutual to talk about.
Like start a band.

11:46pm Kleber
i have a lot of friendz that love muzic the zame az me
i’m on a band but ztill i’m afraid to talk
specially to girlz , and find a future mother of my kid

11:53pm Alina
That’s pretty complicated… I know! You could start off chatting with people on FB, then see if they want to hang out in real life. Even girls!

11:54pm Kleber
another thing

11:55pm Alina
Yes

11:56pm Kleber
what zhould i do if i zee every morning a girl that tried to make my girl once but zhe zaid , no, and now i’m zeeing her everyday in the morning a the train ztation when i’m going to work, and the only thing i zay to her iz hi and zhe zayz hi too and it’z done

11:59pm Alina
Gee Klebes. I don’t think there’s anything you can do about that. Unless you switch subway stations… That’s a sad little story though.

12:00am Kleber
can’t the only train that take me to my job, no problem

12:01pm Alina
You could walk to a really far, weird corner of the platform and read a book there facing the wall?
Not sure that would really make everything better though…

12:01am Kleber
thank you, if you want i can put a bag in my face too.
did you know that Adolf hitler had a wife 23 yearz old younger than him

12:05pm Alina
Yes. They got married a few hours before they both committed suicide. I don’t think either of them would be a good role model for you.

12:07am Kleber
Hitler iz my idol, not becauze of hiz ideology but hiz power of conmunication and to hypnotize people with hiz wordz

12:08pm Alina
Um. Yeah. Obama is pretty good at those things too. May I suggest him as a substitute?

12:09am Kleber
not Hitler iz the only one, but yeah Obama got that too

12:09pm Alina
Are you messing with my head, Klebes? First the fake pregnant girlfriend, now Hitler and Eva Braun?

12:10am Kleber
itz juzt the way it iz, i’m good lair
ho liez more men or women

12:12pm Alina
You lost me there with your creative typing…

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

10:14pm Rajendra
hello mam good morning

10:15pm Alina
Hi Raj! How’s Nepal today?

10:16pm Rajendra
due to winter season its extremely growing cold

10:17pm Alina
Ah! Yes. That sounds familiar. The same phenomenon is occurring here too!

10:18pm Rajendra
what about your musical journey?

10:19pm Alina
I have to admit, my musical journey is standing pretty still right now. I did just release a cover of Britney Spears’ “Oops!… I did it again” Otherwise my days pretty much mirror those of my cat. How are you doing?

10:22pm Rajendra
I am very much happy to know this. its intresting what you have done. my time is passing with the regular duty…office to home and home to office

10:24pm Alina
Office to home and home to office! What do you do at the office? Do you ever stop for a donut on the way to office/home? Do they have donuts in Nepal?!?

10:25pm Rajendra
ya mam i am working in a private organization as an administrator.
donuts???? is this a cake item??

10:27pm Alina
Exactly! A cake item!!! It is round with a hole in the middle. And surprisingly fattening!

10:28pm Rajendra
ya mam it is available
i also like it very much
but why did you remember this cake now?

10:30pm Alina
I am glad that we can connect on this level, Raj. I remember this cake now, because I am pregnant, and find myself very badly wanting this donut every day. However, I am also very, very vain, and don’t want too get too fat, as I am already really quite fat enough.

10:33pm Rajendra
Really mam it is amazing that you are that fond of this thing
but try to control your weight and fat

10:34pm Alina
It’s a hard life

10:34pm  Rajendra
try to make it simple
i believe you will get it change

10:35pm Alina
Some people think Americans have it easy, see? But look what I’m dealing with over here! This donut thing will eventually drive me mad.

10:40pm Rajendra
i think mam donut is fatty item to take enough. and the other hand some of the reason behind this is the baby inside your womb also the cause of this. In our country in the countryside people have a belief the pregenant woman wish to have the things according to the child in their womb i.e. m/f

10:41pm Alina
In other words, my daughter wants a donut. The question becomes: When is it too early to start instilling some discipline?

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

1:56am Amit
hi

1:56am Alina
Hello Amit Singh!

1:56am Amit
hw are u
?

1:57am Alina
You really don’t want to know, Amit. I am more than a little pregnant and the details don’t look pretty when committed to cold, hard print.

1:58am Amit
ok

1:58am Alina
Thanks for asking though. How the hell are you?

1:59am Amit
something wrong with u?

2:00am Alina
No! This is just how I am.

2:01am Amit
i think u are in tension

2:02am Alina
It’s possible…

2:03am Amit
may be i dont understand what u want to say and why say to me

2:04am Alina
I actually think you understand quite well! Let me try again: How are you?

2:05am Amit
fine
are u student ?

2:07am Alina
Nope. I am a singer and a writer and a person who lies on the couch and tries not to throw up. What do you do?

2:09am Amit
i’m an engineer

2:09am Alina
Interesting!

2:09am Amit
why?

2:10am Alina
Good question. Hmm. Is it secretly not interesting…?

2:13am Amit
why it is secretly?

2:13am Alina
Ok, is it simply not interesting being an engineer?
You are making this kind of difficult, Amit.

2:16am Amit
u are not intrested to chat with me

2:17am Alina
That’s not true Amit! I don’t understand how things started off so nicely and now we’re in a fight.

2:18am Amit
actually u say me how the hell are u?

2:19am Alina
yes, that’s just an enthusiastic way of saying HOW ARE YOU?!?

2:20am Amit
ok
so i hv a question for u?

2:21am Alina
Go for it!

2:21am Amit
can we friends ?

2:22am Alina
Sure, Amit! I think we already are friends. Or at least, “friends.”
But it is late and I am very sleepy, so we will have to be “friends” later. Goodnight

2:27am Amit
ok i hv also some work
talk to u later

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

1:47am Kleber

hello turkey

1:48am Alina
Hi Butt Face!

1:48am Kleber
lol

1:48am Alina
omg

1:48am Kleber
how are you doing dork ?

1:49am Alina
I am pregnant. How are you?

1:49am Kleber
i’m not pregnant but i did pregnant zomeone

1:49am Alina
Whoa! That’s new news, Kleber…
What happened?

1:50am Kleber
i juzt dont remember
whoz the lucky one

1:50am Alina
You’re losing me here…

1:50am Kleber
why ?

1:51am Alina
What do you mean? You “pregnant zomeone”? What happened?!?!?

1:52am Kleber
well zhe’z there and now zoon i’ll be daddy Kleber
could you believe that

1:52am Alina
Is your “s” key broken? You’re going to be a Dad, Kleber???

1:53am Kleber
yeah !!

1:53am Alina
Whoa. My. Mind. Is. Blown.

1:54am Kleber
why ? how long have you been pregnant

1:54am Alina
Why? Well, because you seem like a very strange man. I’ve been pregnant almost 6 months.

1:55am Kleber
omg

1:55am Alina
lol

1:55am Kleber
3 more and you’re done

1:55am Alina
Good math! How about you?

1:55am Kleber
whatz a girl or itz a boy

1:56am Alina
It’s a girl. You need to fix that “s” key.

1:56am Kleber
mine juzt 2 1/2
i’ve got to buy a new keyboard

1:57am Alina
True.
You have a long way to go until babyville, my friend!
Are you excited?

1:58am Kleber
are you kidding

1:58am Alina
No, I am not kidding.

1:59am Kleber
yeah, i’m excited
itz my baby

1:59am Alina
True! Well, I think that’s great. Congratulations.

2:00am Kleber
thank you zo much
Congratulations to you too

2:01am Alina
Hey, your “s” key does work!

2:01am Kleber
no
i’m pazting that onez
copying

2:02am Alina
Haha! I appreciate the effort, Klebes.

2:04am Kleber
no problem my friend

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

1:52pm Anil
hello
haw are you

1:53pm Alina
Hello! Me? Well, I’m pregnant and can’t say that I’ve really felt that
well since week 7. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all and had to wake
up in the middle of the night to pee like 8 times. How are you?

1:53pm Anil
thanks
ı am little speak english
ı am turkish
your fan

1:54pm Alina
Got it! Well, thanks right back to you Turkish Fan! You look a little like Che Guevara in your photo.

1:55pm Anil

yes
ı am che guavera fan

1:55pm Alina
I see! Are you planning to take over the Turkish government?

1:56pm
no:D
turkey very good government
okey?

1:58pm Alina
Okay! I can’t disagree really, based on my limited experience with the Turkish government.

1:59pm Anil

you very lovely

2:00pm Alina
My dear Anil Yilmaz Akin, if only you could see me now, in my pajamas, five months pregnant, more than a little constipated…

2:00pm Anil
ooohh
my god

2:01pm Alina
Yes, better I stare at the picture of Che and you stare at the picture of me sitting on my bed and playing electric guitar that was taken 8 years ago.

2:01pm Anil
oooo

pity
see you
alina

2:04pm Alina
Have a great weekend! Eat some künefe for me!

2:04pm Anil
KÜNEFE
?
HAHA

2:05pm Alina
Isn’t that some kind of Turkish dessert? Sorry, I have no idea, actually. I totally just quickly looked up “Turkish Food” on Wikipedia.

2:05pm Anil

okeyyyy

Related Posts:

• No related posts…

7:05pm Kleber
guess who came to restaurant today?

7:05pm Alina
Scarlett Johanssen? Obama? Jesus?

7:05pm Kleber
Jesus!! lol you’re crazy
anyway Robin willians yeah the actor i admired when i was a kid

7:06pm Alina
Wow! He’s famous.

7:07pm Kleber
yeah, don’t you know about him

7:07pm Alina
Yeah, course I know about him.

7:07pm Kleber
he’s really nice as a person but when i said hey let me take pic with you, he said NO, now vanish yourself
i was like, speechless

7:08pm Alina
that’s kind of intense, Klebes…

7:09pm Kleber
yeah it was

Related Posts:

• No related posts…