A quick pop quiz for the upwardly mobile couch potato: what theme unites virtually all our marquee cable television shows? …more

Because of flaws in my character that I am helpless to correct, I spent some minutes last week watching a clip on the BDM[1] of folks cheering the eventual Republican nominee for President, Willard Mitt Romney. Romney had just won another primary. The crowd began chanting Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! …more

I met Jennifer Close in a basement classroom that stunk of chicken fingers. This was many years ago, in the thick of George W. Bush. …more

In a few days, Norton will publish Busy Monsters, the debut novel by William Giraldi. The book has received three starred reviews and a blurb from Harold Bloom. …more

Anthony Weiner, the brash congressman from New York City, resigned this past Thursday, after it was revealed that he sent photos of himself, and sexually yearning text messages, to several women. …more

Gil Scott-Heron died on May 27, at age 62. As I write this, there’s no official cause of death. We’ll know soon enough. This is America, after all. Whatever the medical details suggest, I’m listing his official cause of death as grief. …more

When I first came to Boston, a thousand years ago, I taught a class for a tiny literary outfit called Grub Street. It was held in a dingy high school room and enrollment was, uh, spotty. Only three students showed up consistently: …more

When I was about ten years old, I hit my older brother in the mouth with a baseball bat. We were standing around in a field, hitting pebbles with the bat, and I got him on my backswing. There was a lot of blood. …more

David Sirota writes a weekly column that appears in dozens of newspapers. He has his own radio show. And he’s a frequent guest on cable TV gabfests. These facts should qualify Sirota as a pundit.

But it feels wrong – and slightly dirty – to use that word. …more

(Yet Another) Rumpus Lamentation:

It’s a sunny winter day in Tucson, Arizona. There’s an event being held in the parking lot of a supermarket called Safeway. …more

My wife got upset last night, after she heard about the Rand Paul supporters who tackled a progressive activist named Lauren Valle.  One of them stepped on her head. Valle suffered a concussion. The technical term is aggravated battery. …more

(If you came here looking for porn we recommend Kink.com sites.)

Steve Almond interviews his mom about her new book The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood. (That’s right, Steve’s mom wrote a book about a mother’s fear of having a terrible child.) …more

“You will have to imagine my confusion when Ms. Nutting’s debut story collection, Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls, appeared on my doorstep. She had chosen to defy all reasonable laws of feminine desire by spurning me as a sexual object. And yet she had managed to publish a book.” …more

How I Became a Music Critic:

At age 19, I was assigned to review Bob Dylan in concert, despite the fact that I had very little sense of who Bob Dylan was. I was doing a summer internship at my hometown paper, and the regular critic had fallen ill. …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995… but this is the end of the line)

With an introduction by Matthew Zapruder ** …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Graduation Party

It looks, from a distance, like a track and field tourney:
so much avid motion in shorts and T-shirts
the college field house rented for the occasion …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

The Math of Betrayal

The math of betrayal my friends will never line up …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Cry Timber

I am long tired
of the tyranny
of trees …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

To the Men At Work Outside My Window

See here, fellows: It is me, your skinny-stemmed little daisy faggot boy
Yoo-hoo! Yes, me – the fellow you keep glaring at.
I have a few things to say, if I might. …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Sinatra Time

It’s got nothing to do with nothing, pal,
if you wanna know the truth. …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Juice

Today the jury voted to “acquit”
though the way the word leapt forth
was the way a Southern gentleman cedes
a game in frustration …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

In Hiroshima

In Hiroshima, after the bomb
the sick lay close as lovers,
the strong put tags on those
who stood no chance
later to be flayed by fire …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Riptide

Because we are men of a certain age
without visible boundaries or excuses
we ignore the yellow flap of caution flags
and the lifeguard propped against wet wind …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Michael Jordan Chews Gum

Substantially harder than you or me
a clamping motion that knots the muscles
of his already severely toned presagital ridge
and speaks to some higher form of scorekeeping, …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Hobo Chant, LaFayette, Louisiana, 1937

dem coals inside your chest
dem coals is hot and white
you gotta change your mackacheese
if you wanna be ma wife …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

How We See the Aged

A woman pulls at the pilled pleat
of her seersucker skirt with one hand, …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Owed to Water

It is said the ocean forgets everything
forgets the lash of lightning and the stones
it grinds to sand and the planks it swallows
without joy or renunciation …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Sartre, You’re Such an Asshole

You thought your derriere off, no beef there.
But your heart: was it missing a valve or something?
Why do all your plays end in suicide? …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

The Fruit Standkeeper, Wroclaw

His hands are a thing of beauty,
long, thick fingers moving in webs
grazing apples and onions
settling each into the rusted cradle
of his scale, the needle’s soft bounce
It is as if God composed these hands, or Mozart …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Trained

You will ask why I never tore her down
with my famous claws and arrowed jaws
why instead I sat about, moewed,
and on occasion lept through fire. …more