(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Owed to Water

It is said the ocean forgets everything
forgets the lash of lightning and the stones
it grinds to sand and the planks it swallows
without joy or renunciation …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Sartre, You’re Such an Asshole

You thought your derriere off, no beef there.
But your heart: was it missing a valve or something?
Why do all your plays end in suicide? …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

The Fruit Standkeeper, Wroclaw

His hands are a thing of beauty,
long, thick fingers moving in webs
grazing apples and onions
settling each into the rusted cradle
of his scale, the needle’s soft bounce
It is as if God composed these hands, or Mozart …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Trained

You will ask why I never tore her down
with my famous claws and arrowed jaws
why instead I sat about, moewed,
and on occasion lept through fire. …more

(Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995)

Duck

They were so young, this couple
still new to their stories,
looking ahead and not looking,
locked into marriage. The problem …more

Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995.

Weather Channel

Al Jiminy, two doors down in 13,
is an addict. Day and night
his TV beams feeds of storms
lolling across the careless globe. …more

Writing wretched verse so you don’t have to since 1995.

Viper

She told me how, as a
girl, she slept each night
with a different stuffed
animal to make the
others jealous …more

Introducing Steve Almond’s Bad Poetry Corner, a new Rumpus column where Steve Almond highlights a wonderfully bad poem written by him, his younger self, or another bad poet. Enjoy.

Kafka At The 50 Yard Line (Shady Side)

Cockroach and quarterback
what a curious pair
One craves pork rinds, the other
flings pigskins into air …more