The Book Bench pointed me in the direction of this phenomenal time waster of a site called Unwords, which is “a dictionary devoted to made-up words.” Thanks a lot, Book Bench.

I decided immediately upon finding the word “toilet toupee” (any shag carpet toilet cover that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus creating endless annoyance to male users) that I had to use these words to write a first sentence to a hypothetical short story.