. . . I desperately, beyond reason, wanted an intact body for burial. I wanted it viscerally, animally, the way your body wakes up in the night looking for a newborn, the way you feel a physical connection to your children even when you cannot see them, the way you want something when everything else has been taken from you. It is the same reason I buried him; I wanted to know where he had gone from me and how.
T.S. Mendola is a writer and editor living in Philadelphia. She has published in The Rumpus, Lilith, Rewire News, Health Affairs, and a number of academic journals. Find her on Twitter @tsmendola or at tsmendola.com.