The Women of McSweeneys.net
“Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women?” inquired Christopher Hitchens in “Why Women Aren’t Funny,” Vanity Fair, January 2007.
That’s a good question. And by that I mean, fuck you.
Since women are so hilarious all the time/everywhere (see: Margaret Cho, Janeane Garofalo, Starlee Kine, Katie Crouch, Kristen Schaal, etc.), I’d like to feature the women of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, who are reliably hysterical, clever, and concise. Below is what I consider the best of what women have written for the site since the beginning of 2008.
My measures of judgment:
- A vagina. It’s not that I’m sexist, but sometimes it’s important to fight sexism with sexism.
- Timelessness. I can’t read another joke about the econolypse; everyone being poor and homeless just isn’t funny anymore, and it won’t be funny (or ironic in a good way) in ten years when everyone is rich and arrogant again. Further, I don’t care for faux math.
- Utilization of nontraditional narrative and syntactical deviations.
- Universal applicability. You were crapped on [in some way]? I was crapped on [in same way]!
- Discussion of men being emotionally AWOL.
- References to literature’s antiquity, David Lynch, The Wire, and sex phobias.
Other criteria:
- I laughed aloud.
- I was in some way offended.
- The term “manorexic” was used.
***
The list (out of hundreds and in no particular order):
The Sexually Fluid Person’s Guide to a Seamlessly Uneventful Coming Out by Amy York Rubin
Commentary by David Simon, Creator of The Wire, for the He’s Just Not That Into You DVD by Maureen Miller
Shakespeare Wrote for Money: An Introduction by Sarah Vowell
Ulysses Sells Out by Rebekah Frumkin
The Talk by Julia Weiss
Sick of the Revolution by Deb Olin Unferth
Everything Is Wrong With You: A Letter from Dr. Phil by Wendy Molyneux
An Overheard Conversation at the Suburban Neighborhood Pool, if the Suburban Neighborhood Pool Were in Deadwood by Kari Anne Roy
Children’s-Film Sequels as Imagined by Famous Directors by Rebekah Frumkin
The Letters of Abelard and Heloise: Mattress Salesman and Customer by Marianne Hess
Proust Discovers LiveJournal by Summer Block Kumar
Amazon.com’s Recommendation Algorithm Applied to Life Events by Maribeth Mooney
Borges Teaches Self-Defense by Susan Schorn
Yoga Proverbs by Crystal Schachter
OK, It’s Time to Talk about the Elephant in the Room by Wendy Molyneux
Conversations My Parents Must Have Had While Planning to Raise a Child by Jen Statsky
Real Historical Dolls: A Catalog by Kathryn Higgins
A Suburban Mother Tells Her 14-Year-Old Babysitter How to Make Her Parties More Raging by Wendi Aarons
Abstinence-Only Driver’s Ed by Suzanne Kleid
The Tom Tom Club Catechism by Maureen Miller
Production Rider for Kate Kershner’s Holiday Visit Home Tour by Kate Kershner
Bikram Writing 101 by Liz Worthy
Essay Prompts for the 2009 Senior Advanced Placement High School Engish Exam for Women by Wendy Molyneux
And a special treat: Comments Written by Actual Students Extracted from Workshopped Manuscripts at a Major University collected by Tanya Rey
***
Honorable mentions: Sylvia Eastman, Angela Genusa, Mari Ness, Melanie Berliet, Alison Espach, Kate Hahn, Natalie Edwards, Ellie Kemper, Mali Perl, Julie Klausner, Rachel Shukert, Stacey Landowne, Sarah Walker, Samantha Martin, Allison Morrow, and Jennifer Byrne (in no particular order).
**Related posts:
-The Revolution Has Begun
June 19th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I love this.
June 19th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Elissa dear if you keep knocking it out of the park someone’s going to think you’re on steroids. luv, your bestie.
June 19th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
This list is excellent and so is Elissa!
June 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Elissa, Great piece!
June 19th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Deb Olin Unferth is the bee’s knees.
Also glad to see Ellie Kemper in the Honorable Mentions. Fun fact: she joined the cast of “The Office” in April, as the new secretary.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Elissa,I was sent this by a friend and realized it was the elissa i know! great piece.
June 19th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Ha! I clapped at my computer just now. Poor benighted Hitchens: his questions reveal his failings as a journalist like a combover reveals male-pattern baldness. Hitch, next time you need a clue, ask Elissa to lend you one.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Glad you wrote this, Elissa. That piece was irritating, though Hitchens is a notorious trash-talker, at times, and definitely relishes the role of devil’s advocate. (However he’s also incredibly well-read, relatively fairminded, a skilled debater, someone who does his homework, articulate, witty, usually a good read.) But yes, this piece was incredibly flawed. Saved that issue of VF and smacked a post-it on front that reads “Takedown!”
Was watching a documentary about Don Rickles the other night. They had Sarah Silverman on and I thought well, she’s Rickles-like, but more surprising and clever. Kathy Griffin doesn’t get enough attention. Cho is hilarious. And just to put in a quick plug for a favorite short-story writer: Lorrie Moore is funny as hell.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
i love you. that is all.
p.s. let me see your …
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Lovely opening. Now you’ve given me another time-stealing list of fun links!
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Lighten up, tutz. “This is not to say that women are humorless, or cannot make great wits and comedians.” … “my argument doesn’t say that there are no decent women comedians.”
Though it makes me chuckle that you’ve been steaming over this article for two and a half years, spending hours re-reading McSweeney’s entries from the last year and a half, it doesn’t change the fact that the vast majority of working comics and comedy writers are men. Thanks for the collection of funny links, though.
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Props. But I fear Hitchens would just counter that if these pieces had been written by men, they’d be funnier. There’s no arguing with someone who objectively evaluates that which can only be evaluated subjectively.
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 am
Hitchens is rubbish, of course, but I’m not sure many of these pass on your criteria of “timelessness” or “universal applicability”. Personally I’d say most of them (and most of the rest of McSweeney’s web content) are examples of momentarily diverting guff whose amusement value depends entirely on an awareness of some very specific set of pop-cultural references.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 am
You should read Mary Birdsong’s (she played Kimball on Reno 911!) open letter to Christopher Hitchens after this article. It’s hilarious and remniscent of David Cross’ open letter to Larry the Cable Guy.
The title of Hitchens’ article should have been “Breaking news: horribly unfunny and humorless man thinks women aren’t funny.”
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:46 am
Hitchens holding forth on funny. Now that is comedy gold right there.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
so, umm, ya. i agree and everything, but you can´t write that kind of piece and then use the word ´hysterical´
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria
sorry to rain on your parade, but words have power.
xoxoxox
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 am
I used that word (as I do most of my words) intentionally as an ironic pun. Also, there’s nothing wrong with taking words back (repurposing them) to challenge their antiquated meanings. xoxo!
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
thanks so much for including me in the list, Elissa. I almost choked when I saw my name so close to Sarah Vowell’s. she’s the shit.
June 24th, 2009 at 6:46 am
Amy, I, too, was excited to be included in a list with Sarah Vowell. I peed a little. It’s awkward because I’m at work. Thank you, Elissa!
June 24th, 2009 at 9:24 am
How do we get Sarah Vowell to hang out with us?
June 25th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I am humbled and beyond grateful to be included with this group of women who’ve been making me laugh out loud for years.
Thank you Elissa for including me. Yay us!
June 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Good stuff. (The only thing wrong with this is mentioning Margaret Cho as an example of funny–she’s really not funny at all. We’re talking Billy Crystal or Robin Williams territory in terms of overratedness…)
But otherwise, this is good.
July 6th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
And let no man putusunder my sisters. Funny, don’t lets ask me. I know it when I see it. LOVE YOUS
August 17th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I am so pleased and honored to be included. Thanks girlfriend!
August 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
I could not stop laughing at the descriptions in Ms. Higgins article, Real Historical Dolls:A Catalog. Some savvy manufacture of toys should produce them. I would certainly give them to my seven nieces for holiday presents. History, factual or otherwise should be fun.
September 25th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
One to add to the list is Caroline Lazar who writes the HILARIOUS “Oh My Gawd” column on McSweeneys. Whip sharp, smart, and only sixteen!! Talk about precocious!! This girl (woman? girl-woman?) is a baby Sarah Vowell.
September 26th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Gosh, that’s really nice of you to say, Shasah!
Thank you!