Chats with Random Men #14: Osama Edition

By

When she’s not writing music or books, Alina Simone talks with random men on Facebook.  This time, about Osama bin Laden.

12:41pm
helllo aline simone , some one are waiting for you but you are not give me response why?

2:18pm
Hi Imran Akhtar. So sorry to have, er, kept you waiting! How are you? Who are you? Where are you?

2:20pm
I’m fine dear madam I’m really like you ,
my name is imran belong to lahore pakistan
I’m software engineer
i also know you are dislike pakistanis
same as?

2:23pm
Imran! Kind sir! Where did you hear I dislike Pakistanis?!? This is totally not true. How on earth did we go from “hello” to “you dislike Pakistanis” with such ferretlike speed?

2:33pm
Dear Alina so sorry for late response actually i was taking diner

2:34pm
I have been anxiously waiting!

2:35pm
I heard some people say that pakistanis are bad people
last day i was chating a girl which belong to uk
she said me I hate pakistanis
in fact really i love more those people who hate us?
any way … please tell me what do u do?
r u busy now?

2:46pm
Yes, well, there was that whole Osama thing…a rough bit of PR for Pakistainies, that one. But it’s not like YOU personally invited Osama over to your home and let him use your XBox and fed him your Pakistani-equivalent to Cheerios and shared a toilet seat with him. It’s stupid to hate Pakistani’s for that reason. It would be like Pakistani’s hating all Americans because we harbor Glenn Beck. Sorry to go on like that… Anyways, I’m a singer! And yes, I’m busy writing to you at this very moment aren’t I, you crazy trickster!

2:54pm
Imran? Hello??


Alina Simone is a Brooklyn-based singer. She is currently at work on a book of essays about Russia, family and the tragic-comic struggle to make it in indie rock for Farrar, Straus & Giroux. More from this author →