MY BACKPACK
★★★★★ (4 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing my backpack.
I own a blue backpack made by L.L. Bean. There are pockets all over it and it it’s perfect for carrying things or just making it look like I’m carrying things.
Every time I put on my backpack I feel like a camel/human hybrid or a backwards kangaroo. It’s fun to feel like an animal but sad when I take the backpack off and turn into a regular person again. I don’t ever let on to other people that I feel like I’m an animal. I don’t move differently or make animal sounds, but I still wonder if onlookers can tell.
If I pass someone else on the street who is wearing a backpack, I give he or she a knowing look to imply our mutual understanding of one another. I try not to make the look too knowing, because that other person could have almost anything in that backpack, like a human head or an undersized bale of hay. Those are things I can’t relate to.
Depending on what I put in my backpack, it can make me feel more confident. Not that I’ve ever done this, but I could put soiled undergarments in my backpack and no one except my neighbor’s dog would know my embarrassing secret. One time I had to walk through a dangerous neighborhood at night, so I put what I was told was a live wolverine in my backpack for protection. (I learned later it was only a weasel.)
If it’s hot out, my back will get sweaty where the backpack presses against it. Not only does it leave a large wet spot on my shirt, but in doing so it depletes me of moisture that my body needs. I consider this a large design flaw. It’s probably the only thing I don’t like about my backpack.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing The Hogan Family.
4 responses
sometimes if my backpack is empty and I’m going somewhere I will (subconsciously?) put things it in to feel productive and useful (I think this is a thing golden retrievers like to do too). umbrella? might need that. knit hat? you never know. whoopee cushion? why not. am I the only person who does this?
Dear Mari,
You’re not the only one. I often stuff my backpack with crumpled newspaper to fill out the extra space.
Your Friend,
Ted
Aside from filling out space, crumpled newspaper is also good at soaking up moisture.
Perhaps this is its true use for you, Mr. Backsweat
I used to fill my backpack with “adventure items” and then ride my bike around town (still wearing the backpack). I never did go on an adventure with it, but, looking back, I think it was an adventure in and of itself.
Click here to subscribe today and leave your comment.