Susan Schorn is a martial artist and self-defense instructor who writes the column "Bitchslap" for McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Her first book, Smile at Strangers, and Other Lessons in the Art of Living Fearlessly, will be available May 28th from Houghton Mifflin. She can quote verbatim dialogue from most of the 52 original "yellow-spine" Nancy Drew mysteries, and would be interested in learning about any groundbreaking medications that might relieve her of this ability. She lives in Austin, Texas, which helps. She's on Twitter: @SusanSchorn.