FUNNY WOMEN: Excerpts from George Eliot’s MiddleMuppet
“MEEEEEEEEEP!!!”
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Funny Women
Funny Women: A Literary Agent’s Manuscript Wish List
I need a book that gives me the high of MDMA without the risk of faintness, dehydration, or a nosy mall cop telling me to put my shirt back on in the food court.
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Funny Women: Personal Statement for Creative Writing MFA Applications
Dear MFA Faculty at Private University,
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Funny Women: Things I Wish I Could Workshop Other Than My Novel
Do I come across as a middle child with first-child energy? Would you recommend treatment for my character, and if so, from a sliding-scale social worker or a psychiatrist? Meditation or medication? Out-patient or in?
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Funny Women: The Adventure of the Mistaken Right Swipe
It turns out freelance homicide detective actually is a job, and he’s super good at it.
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From the Archive: Funny Women Whimsical Abortion Procedures
Mentally replay every worst memory of your childhood until pregnancy is scared away. Works every time.
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FUNNY WOMEN: A Novel, a Short Story, a Memoir, and a Poem Walk into a Bar
“Poem and I are better at sex than you two,” said the short story accurately. “We get in. We get out. Boom. Done.”
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From the Archive: FUNNY WOMEN #139: Gap Year To-Do List
Water is a precious resource; my portable soda stream honors that fact.
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Funny Women: Who’s the Man in a Lesbian Relationship? A Guide for Curious Straight People
Present a copy of The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas. Whoever puts it in their purse is the woman. Whoever pulls their own copy out of their pocket is Gertrude Stein.
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FUNNY WOMEN: The Future Is Female and Customizable
Announcing the She-bot 3000, a female companion who’s the perfect combination of girlfriend, mother, and therapist. For a low daily rate (and with no minimum commitment or background check required), the She-bot can be your bot, and yours only.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE: FUNNY WOMEN: Feminist Valentine’s Day Gifts
Stretch. Listen in hundreds of different positions. Listen a little to the left; now a little to the right.
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From the Archive: FUNNY WOMEN #106: Gay Wedding Vows
Upon our union, it’s only a matter of time until our two wombs join to form a super-powerful uniwomb, not seen since ancient Mayan times…
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FUNNY WOMEN: Be a Comedy Legend with One Simple Trick That Is Bees
NOTE: Be sure to jot down all jokes before you stop breathing.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Send Us Your Weird
Our nascent but well-established literary magazine is now open for submissions.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Haruki Murakami’s Productivity Hacks
Morning exercise can also ignite that creative spark. Try to outrun an oedipal prophecy
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FUNNY WOMEN: Tailoring a Pitch Across Outlets
Hit me if you’re down for this excluze to all your compadbros.
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FUNNY WOMEN: wikiHOW to Hit on an East Asian Woman in America
After approaching her, start a conversation by trying to guess her ethnicity.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Amelia Bedelia Takes a COVID Test
Mrs. Rogers was angry. She was very angry.
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FUNNY WOMEN: A Poetry Editor’s Note, by Dick Shear
This moment has come to its crisis. As you can see I really can’t be blamed.
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FUNNY WOMEN: The Ideal Female Boss
She knows how to yell, but wouldn’t yell if her life depended on it.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Sleep Tips by a 90-Year-Old Insomniac
You can take care of it in the morning. Just write yourself a note.
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FUNNY WOMEN: How to Write the Perfect Fantasy Novel
Get creative! “Brian” could become “Bryawn,” courter of women, slayer of ogres.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Hire Me, a Hype Man, for Your Next Zoom Presentation
My work starts before you even enter the Zoom room.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Official 2020 Census Letter
This is your invitation to respond to the 2020 Census.
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Funny Women: Women Respond to Ads
I thought my period would be the happiest, most active time of the month.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Women from the PoV of Male Creative Writing Undergrads
That’s how cool she was, not like his ex-girlfriend.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Intersectional Literary Festival Q&A
But enough about my credentials, which are copious.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Math Problems for Women
If Holly invites five women over, what is the ratio of “fear” to “coven formation”?
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