Although it’s Spring 2011 and the snow in the Quadrangle is melting, why not treat your manly neck like it’s 1989? Life is just a collection of scarves, and scarves were meant to last. …more

As American women, we are privileged to have every March dedicated to our accomplishments. For thirty-one incredible days, we can walk into any elementary school classroom and see our sisters’ faces decoupaged on pink poster board alongside bullet points of praise. …more

The Rumpus Women, Vol. I contributors have been on tour. We’ve read in bookstores, bars, and family rooms in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Brooklyn, and Denver. The readings have been awe-inspiring: smart, funny, charming, sad, honest, brave.

In case you couldn’t make a reading or live in Iowa, Rumpus Women will be on Firedoglake Book Salon, an online news site that hosts author discussions every Saturday and Sunday. …more

Hello, everybody! I’m back!

I know, I haven’t blogged for almost over a day now, and it has been the worst day of my life because of Brad. …more

Loads of people have slept with authors or well-read individuals, but what would it be like to sleep with a book? …more

The Koslowskis, Air Date: January 25, 2011

Alex Trebek: Before we begin, I’d like to introduce our contestants. First, we have James Koslowski, a 24-year-old University of Texas graduate who moved back in with his parents two years ago. Hello and welcome, James. …more

Jenny Hagel, the filmmaker/comdienne who made the Feminist Rapper webseries (see below), released a new short comedy film online this week.

“Tech support” is about a woman who falls in love with the girl on the other end of a long tech support phone call–and what happens when she drops that call. …more

You may have heard that us “millennials” are struggling to find jobs. It’s true. The unemployment wave is pushing us recent college grads into taking menial positions in restaurants, retail stores—even cleaning other people’s houses. But we’re holding out for something better, something that stirs our passions—and of course pays well. …more

The five most popular words in best-selling books are (source: Time magazine):

1. man
2. diet
3. house
4. woman
5. sex/sexual …more

A hearty bonjour and aloha to all you lovers of arts & letters,

I may be old-fashioned, but I prefer not to keep a day job when the winsome muse of words calls to me, so I will be seeking a patron for the next 6 months to 10 years, depending on how long it takes to birth this literary love child. …more

Dearest Readers, Contributors, Hopeful Contributors, and Men,

The Funny Women column is going away to the Sugar Shack until 2011.

While you are welcome and encouraged to send submissions to funnywomen AT therumpus.net, please note I’m embarrassingly behind on reading your work and editing upcoming pieces (I have adjusted the submission guidelines to reflect this). I’ll be dedicating the next few weeks to reading every word you’ve sent me. Look forward to a consistently published and polished column next year.

In the meantime: have the happiest and most tolerable of holidays; if home is hard, write about it (when you write about your family, it becomes “good material” rather than “a bad life”); and finally, if someone tells me one more time “that’s what she said,” I am just going to snap.

Fondly,
Elissa
Editor of Funny Women

Not only are women not funny, but also they don’t know anything about music. Verify this:

…more

I often think about the five people I’d invite to a fantasy dinner party. They are: Jesus Christ, Rick Springfield, my late grandmother, my ex-boyfriend Steve, and a celebrity chef. …more

Scientists have identified the gene that inclines individuals toward excessive Post-It use. Three out of five British women misread the word “aviator” as “vibrator” after prolonged exposure to violent news broadcasts. Non-mammalian school mascots were associated with lower student body morale. …more

“Feeling down? Make a Self-Esteem Shell Collage! Write a poem on a piece of paper about you and the ocean and about how you feel about the ocean and why you are special and of course the ocean and then surround the poem with whatever shells you collected that day so you will always remember it. …more

Why do people think being a Tea Party Patriot means missing out on all the fun when it comes to sex? …more

Two funny women interviewed each other about their lives. They also happen to be sisters. They were raised like twins, best friends, by a hovering, yet distracted Jewish mother and a drama-and-opera-prone psychiatrist father. …more

On July 1, 2010, Entourage star and eco-friendly cleaning product Adrian “Charisma” Grenier told Us Magazine “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Him,” a Proustian exercise designed to give readers a greater insight into the minds and hearts of their favorite celebrities. …more

Insert your own words in the spaces below to make a wacky story!

The verandah was large and layered with many different coats of peeling white paint. …more

My ten-year-old self:

Dear John,

Sorry but I can not be your girlfriend anymore because my Dad says that I am not supposed to date until I am 16. …more

After more than two years of deliberation, the suggestions from thirteen expert groups that have been working on the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (used to diagnose recognized psychological disorders) are now available online.
…more

One woman’s search for everything across India, Iran, and Iceland… excerpts from my extraordinary upcoming novel of self-discovery: …more

Dear Damaris,

I’ve been with this one hombre for almost two years. I’m actually pregnant with his bebe right now. And I’m wondering; where is the ring? …more

The memorial award established by McSweeney’s in 2004, the Amanda Davis Highwire Award, is now open to applicants again.

The award “is intended to aid a young woman writer of 32 years or younger who both embodies Amanda’s personal strengths—warmth, generosity, a passion for community—and who needs some time to finish a book in progress. The book in progress needn’t be thematically or stylistically close to Amanda’s work, but we would be lying if we said we weren’t looking to support another writer of Amanda’s outrageous lyricism and heart.”

Check the post for application details.

The way you’re looking at me tonight, I know you’re ready to take this to the next level.

…more

RHET1002 Students,

It has come to my attention that many of you are unaware of my policy on email etiquette. Please take a moment to review the following guidelines to better facilitate the exchange of ideas within our learning community. …more

First, do not fret, this is a very common affliction, affecting millions of people worldwide. Second Hand Embarrassment Syndrome (SHES) is defined as feeling other people’s embarrassment as acutely as your own. This makes reality television, specifically talent competitions, extremely hard for you to watch. …more

That’s what we authors are always working for, that personal connection with the reader. It’s what makes all the unpaid hours, mostly spent blogging for a book deal, worthwhile. …more

Hi, I am Jeneane, your conference speaker today, and I would like to start by apologizing for a few things before we get started. …more

Like most women, I am gay for Sarah Haskins. Unlike most women, I got to interview her.

Here are some things you should know about Sarah to get the most out of our interview: …more