Almost everybody who knows anything about Chicago can tell you that it is notorious for its stifling summers and bone-chilling winters. What they probably don’t know is that not all crappy Chicago seasons are created equal. In fact, in my own humble opinion, Chicago winters are far worse than Chicago summers. Here’s why: during the summer in Chicago you can go to the beach and cool off, go downtown and check out a free festival (if you don’t mind dodging bullets), or just hang out on your porch and drink with the rest of your neighborhood (once again, depending on where you live, if you don’t mind dodging bullets). Try doing any of that stuff during the winter. The lake and a good portion of the beaches tend to film over with a grimey layer of ice. If you go downtown you had better be ready for some sub-zero windchills. Oh, and hanging out on your front porch? Not unless you have somebody to boil some water and thaw your ass off the steps. In short, Chicago winters suck and this year is no exception. In fact, I have a feeling that it will be worse than normal.
Usually the best thing about winter in Chicago is the concurrent drop off in crime. Dope boys don’t wanna catch colds so a lot of them go inside when the temperature drops. A lot of times this just means they hang out in the Mickey D’s down the block till a hype knocks on the glass. In any case, they’re generally not as present on the corner and this leads to a decrease in gang related batteries and homicides. This year, even with a record cold November, Chicago is still steadily marching towards a 500 homicide year (last year 443 were recorded). The latest news? A Chicago Police Officer shot by an Imperial Gangster in the Logan Square neighborhood. The offender was shot in the leg (aim higher guys). Yeah things are looking down.
p.s- add to that da Bears have a slim to none chance of making the playoffs (unless the Lions beat the Vikings (and hell freezes over (quick somebody call Wisconsin and see if it’s frozen over)))
