At the Intersection of Football and Porn

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By now everybody has heard that last night football fans in Tuscon got thirty free seconds of Jenna Jameson doing what she’s famous for in a mistake that was the answer to every teenage boy’s prayers. So Comcast messed up and showed some porn, PETA’s girls-on-vegetables ad was banned, and a few years ago Janet Jackson had a pierced nipple slip.

Sex, fear, and messing up seem to have a place close to the pad-protected heart of the Super Bowl. Countless warnings have been issued to coaches and players over the years, and hush-hush rules have been implemented to keep the princes of the pigskin away from nudie bars, booze cruises, and gambling, but that hasn’t stopped controversies from cropping up around the big game.

Back in ’99, the day after he received a morality award from the Christian group Athletes in Action, Eugene Robinson of the Atlanta Falcons got caught offering an undercover cop $70 for a blowjob. In 2007 both a Snickers ad and Prince’s performance generated over 150 gay-haters to complain to the FCC.

In 1998 NBC rejected an advertisement for an impotence drug known as Muse because it wasn’t “appropriate for a family audience.” It’s a shame that it didn’t run, ’cause 1.3 million dollars seems like a fair sum to try and hock a product that is administered as a urethral suppository. First down?

Kind of sorta related, in 2007 the Boston Patriots were warned against sending their cheerleaders to distract the opposing team before the game.


Ainsley Drew is a native New Yorker, freelance writer, and euphemism enthusiast. Her work has been featured in The New York Press, McSweeney’s, The Morning News, and Curve Magazine, among other totally sweet publications. An avid fan of all sports, but especially the NBA, when she's not stalking 6'10" centers she eats way too much Japanese food, plays word games, and hits on anything that moves. Aiming high, she hopes to one day be a notorious literary celebrity with her name in tabloids. She also has eleven fingers, so she can type faster than you. You can find her jerkethic.com and ainsleydrew. Be her Internet friend. More from this author →