This is day three of me filling in for Dan. His absence is making me jittery.
It turns out breast milk is good for babies. In other news, being stabbed is bad for the body. (Unless it’s Dan’s body – he can withstand anything. And maybe it’s time I proved it.)
If you’re a shut-in living in Brooklyn, and like candy, or disappointing crack, or are just lonely, this solves all those problems. Without Dan here I feel lonelier than ever.
Apparently there are a lot of uses for aspirin, other than easing headaches. Worrying about Dan has given me a headache.
Here’s something to make you forget all about Dan. It worked for me for a few minutes.
The missing pet tortoise you’ve all been worried about has been found. Finally! But has anyone seen Dan? Seriously, just email me and let me know.
