Science Saturday

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The jokes write themselves sometimes–on the same day that the sitting President of the US wins the Nobel Peace Prize, we bombed the moon. To be fair, we had warned the moon repeatedly about pulling all that romantic shit.

When this thing can catch and eat bugs to power itself, call me. I’ve got a back yard all ready for it to evolve in.

I don’t imagine this is funny if you live anywhere near Hanford, where the US made plutonium in the early days of the Cold War, but it’s hard not to giggle at the idea of radioactive jackrabbit poop.

And finally, car makers are using tech to try to limit impaired driving. In the long run, and I’m serious about this, if we are going to insist on individual vehicles for travel as a society, then I want them to be computer-controlled. Too much of my life consists of watching out for drivers distracted by their phones or kids or the dvd players in their vehicles. A robot chauffeur–that’s what I want. Or a working public transportation system. Either one.


Brian Spears is Senior Poetry Editor of The Rumpus and the author of A Witness in Exile (Louisiana Literature Press, 2011). His poem “Upon Reading That Andromeda Will One Day Devour Triangulum and Come For Us Next” was featured in Season 9 of Motion Poems. More from this author →