Unthinkable Movie Remakes


John Patterson, writing in The Guardian, suggests it might be time to consider remaking/updating the Orson Welles masterpiece Citizen Kane. The obvious choice of subject, Patterson says, is media mogul Rupert Murdoch, but I like his final suggestion better: Silvio Berlusconi. I like it better in large part because there’s even less chance that film would get made than the Murdoch one.

I’m not completely against updating movies–I suspect it can work, if handled the right way. But it rarely does. In my view, for example, the 2004 remake of The Manchurian Candidate was an abomination, and should never be viewed by anyone, ever. So I open this up to Rumpus Readers–what remakes are the worst you’ve ever seen, or what movies should never be remade, in your view?

Brian Spears is Senior Poetry Editor of The Rumpus and the author of A Witness in Exile (Louisiana Literature Press, 2011). His poem “Upon Reading That Andromeda Will One Day Devour Triangulum and Come For Us Next” was featured in Season 9 of Motion Poems. More from this author →