Free Piano, Williamsburg

If anybody is in need of a free piano, please see this ad. Although be wary. Keep an eye on your genitalia.

On JULY 4TH 2012, at approximately 4 pm my GRANDMOTHER DIED while playing “You’re a Grand Old Flag” on THIS PIANO. Now her soul lingers forever in its wooden fibers. I believe she cannot rest because she never actually finished playing the DAMN SONG…

My BEST friend, the esteemed post-modernist conductor and composer BRIAN SAMUEL ROTHSTEIN, claims that the piano needs to be tuned. He tried to tune it once and the thing almost bit off his PENIS.

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Casey Dayan is a Rumpus intern and musician. He is finishing up his undergraduate studies in literature and anthropology at the University of California, Santa Cruz where he is working on a memoir and trying to one-up Jeff Buckley. Find his twitter here, @caseydayan. Find his band, “Moo,” here.

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