Spotlight: “As Before, So Behind (redux)”


In November of 2017, my spouse and I lost our infant son shortly following his birth due to complications during labor.

In the wake of this tragedy, as an attempt to process what had happened, I began to write a narrative that I hoped might give context, rescue fragile details from fading memory, and allow me to speak to my son one last time. The initial attempt for this work appeared in the first-ever print issue of The Nib, as well as on their website. Due to space considerations in the print run, the work was greatly truncated. I have since pursued a longer edit, adding other avenues of thought, extending the language of the piece, and giving moments I felt required further contemplation more breathing room.

What follows is an attempt to speak to the living, as well as the dead.


Ted Closson is a writer and artist living in Maine. His comics and visual work have been published at The Nib, Beyond: Queer Sci-fi and Fantasy Comics Anthology, Alphabet Anthology, Black Warrior Review, Hobart Literary Journal, The Good Men Project, and Storychord. He can be found on the web at and followed on both Instagram and Twitter via @vinegartom. More from this author →