Become a Member

Back Home

By

Yan Ruan

•

Back home for two weeks and it rains and rains and at night we fuck on my girlhood bed
Of hardwood and rice pillows, bumping clammy bones against one another, my mouth flattened
On the hushed yellow of my girlhood sheet. We're supposed to be asleep
Is this weird, you whisper after the rain stops, and I say "no" to reassure myself
You still dug the condom wrapper otu of the trash, to be sure
Nothing seems real, even the trees smell of tears or of holding back tears, after the years I spent squatting
In the only room I was allowed to lock masturbating with a shower head
Until nothing existed but the dripping
Of water on beige tiles, while familiar slippers clattered near and far but never in.

SHARE

IG

FB

BSKY

TH

Yan Ruan
Yan Ruan is a writer and artist. Born and raised in Beijing, China, Yan is currently based in Brooklyn, where she’s pursing a MFA in Fiction at Brooklyn College. She also holds a Ph.D. in Social Psychology at University of Rochester researching emotion regulation in intimate relationships. Her work can be found on Volume Poetry and more.

You May Also Like