The Sacred Blow Job, a hefty erotic tome of 400,000 words about the life of a Catholic priest who has had sacred pornographic dreams his whole life and now seeks out a therapist to help him with this blasphemous and heady issue. Any reader interested in theology and psychology will be aroused as Father Gregor seeks inner peace with the help of Dr. Mrs. Wilder.
Casino King, a perplexing portrayal of a math prodigy and self-taught poker wiz who is bonkers about blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. Supposedly a one-of-a-kind collection of statistical gambling techniques with an analytical approach that is somewhat guaranteed to work at home but definitely not in the casinos.
The Undead. Mark Twain once said—and this is paraphrased—most people wish to write a novel without learning the basics of writing. This book has done it. Lucas, an avid unicyclist and vegan chef by day and a hitman by night, has been condemned to death by the local mafia, but his body refuses to die. A page-turner that will make everyone wish that they, too, could quit eggs and become immortal.
My Year of Sluttery is 365 pages for 365 days in the author’s love life after 28 years in three monogamous relationships. With humorous details and unparalleled advice on modern-day dating apps, among other things, this “book” is every book club’s pick to discuss without reading.
Doomsday is Near, a Warning from God is the alternative story of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, the world’s first known conspiracy theorist, must spread news of the impending judgment day. Will his friends and neighbors listen to him this time? Or will they all die in the fire of their sins just like he warned they would? This divine book is suitable for ages five through nine.
Amalie Fell from Heaven is a narrative on character-driven humor, with commentary on our current digital pop culture, with a focus on popular punk songs (not sure what all that means). Amalie depicts the childhood of a singular ten-year-old girl whose charm will instantly enthrall readers and might even motivate them to be better listeners and more optimistic people. It’s a book worth reading to page fifty and then regifting.
The Danube’s Dark Waves, about a Hungarian Gypsy fleeing communist Budapest in an unspecified year, is a heartfelt story. Readers will be mesmerized by the ambitious and heroic main character, who is eager to harvest the lifeblood of freedom on the other side of the Iron Curtain. The author has no previous writing experience and is not a human person.
Welcome to My Life is a debut memoir detailing the life of a person (unnamed) who walks around making fairly obvious observations about her environment. There is no plot, nor would you want one. The uniquely shapeless storyline never self-actualizes, yet its unexpectedly captivating tone will have everyone talking about this tour of force.
Crooks Among Us is a dystopian story warning about dangers in the political arena when emotions and passions run high. You’ll sleep with one eye open after reading whatever you can of this semi-masterpiece. What more do you want in a book than a crooked political system that foregrounds previously unseen systematic frailties that is also a journey into the psyche of the virtual author, who is none other than an aggregate of a crook?
Justin Finds a Bird has a vertigo-inducing plot that will confuse you into loving Justin Finds a Bird. Justin, a lifelong ornithologist, is addicted to artificial sunlight. He is crestfallen to find out that his solar simulator has slowly deteriorated his retina, and the cure for his ailment is the saliva of a rare bird that lives in his own backyard. Justin’s retina’s uncertain future hangs in the balance as Justin braves the mild elements to extract the precious and nearby liquid he desperately needs to regain his perfect eyesight. A bewildering tearjerker and something of a rara avis even in the boundless sea of AI generated fiction.
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