Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and it’s All My Fault #13
We can cross right here. No, it’s perfectly fine. This state has a little something called pedestrian right-of-way, Doug. You can just step out into traffic whenever you want and…
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Kyle Kinane
50 posts
Kyle Kinane has been performing in bars in cities in nations for ten years. He was called "bleak and misanthropic" by the London Evening Standard, which may or may not be a compliment. He is a comedian.
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #12
You don’t have to pay the mafia back if you can outsmart them, Doug. Check out this wig.
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #11
I think I might be an adrenaline junkie, Doug. Well, sure, there’s still the regular junkie part too. But the meth is only fun now when I’m doing crazy shit…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #10
I’m sure they’re dolphins, Doug. Well then you can slather some SPF 80 on your pussy and sit here on the beach with the rest of the moms. I rented this boogie board for…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #9
Scuba lessons are just swimming lessons but with a backpack, Doug. Since I already know how to swim and I definitely know how to wear a backpack, looks like I’m…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #8
You probably stood up too fast. All day? Maybe you’ve been standing up too fast all day then. No, we’re not getting one. Because, Doug, those detectors are just a scam…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #7
Look at how fat that cop is, Doug. Seriously, if you just took his gun and started running, what could he do? He wouldn’t catch you. Well, not you specifically. I’m…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #6
I don’t know if I’m supposed to snort it, smoke it, shoot it, or cram it up my asshole. All I know is it was pretty cheap, so I’ll probably…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #5
No, no, no—you wear rubber boots for plumbing work. Think about it, Doug. If the pipe breaks, you don’t want your feet to get wet. For electrical stuff it doesn’t…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #4
Feng shui? Fuck that, Doug. This katana sword is going right over the headboard. It’s sexy.
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #3
I think that’s a female grizzly, Doug. I heard somewhere that you’re supposed to expose your genitals so that she knows you’re a dominant male. I don’t know where I heard…
Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #2
I just don’t trust privatized health care, Doug. I’ll just keep putting Neosporin on it and we’ll see what happens. And I thought a Brown Recluse is what you called a…