Dear Committee, Please consider my application for admission under your new Charles Schwab Playing Field Initiative, which I believe I qualify for in double spades.
Probably, then and there on the wraparound porch, I should have known to turn around, should have left it all to someone else—the missing key an omen. But I was always going to find it.
It’s nice of the Baptists to let us use this space––though of course, we know they’re trying to convert us. We’re okay with that. It feels good to be wooed.