FUNNY WOMEN: Introducing Femail, the Email System for Women
Meet your new email system Femail, for the woman who emails.
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Funny Women
FUNNY WOMEN: Submission Guidelines You Wish You’d Read Earlier
The words “behoove,” “cordially,” and “bedpan” are not looked upon favorably by the Dusty Jake staff.
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FUNNY WOMEN: A Makeup Look for Nuclear Anxiety
[W]hat’s more thrilling than making the world more beautiful one haggard, agitated face at a time?
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FUNNY WOMEN: Feminist Valentine’s Day Gifts
Stretch. Listen in hundreds of different positions. Listen a little to the left; now a little to the right.
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FUNNY WOMEN: It’s Me, Dead Girl!
I just want to share a little bit about myself—because despite the fact that my horrific death is the point of the show you’re enjoying, you’ve never actually heard my voice.
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FUNNY WOMEN: Other Contenders for 2017’s Word of the Year
Fückit: When you’ve had enough, more than enough, but somehow enough is never enough, and I put wine in my cereal now.
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FUNNY WOMEN #157: Habits of Less Successful Writers
So much can be learned from the writing habits of successful writers, but what can we learn from the ones who aren’t doing quite as well?
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FUNNY WOMEN #156: Fall Activities Adjusted for Global Warming
Due to rising sea levels, most orchards have been flooded. Instead of apple picking, grab a canoe large enough for the whole family and climb aboard.
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FUNNY WOMEN #155: Feminine and Masculine Words
A helpful trick can be to picture feminine words (pumpkin latte, duvet cover) as butterflies. Soft, delicate, hard to catch, and useless except near flowers. Masculine words are more like knives.
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FUNNY WOMEN #154: Visa Status of Disney Princesses
President Trump has suspended all H-1B visa processing, and He would like us to reevaluate several candidates who gained entry under the fashion-model exception.
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FUNNY WOMEN #153: So You Want to Be a Woman
If the eyes are the window to the soul, then the drapes should match the wallpaper. Fix what you got and then flaunt what you fixed!
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Funny Women #152: Features of the Groundbreaking American Writers Museum
We’ll be open as long as the National Endowment for the Arts is.
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FUNNY WOMEN #151: Creative Writing Tips
Need to write something for some reason? Here’s how.
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FUNNY WOMEN #150: A Little More About Customer #7611594
As for your offer to help me make sure I am getting the right gear, this is another question that troubles me hourly. Am I getting the right gear?
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FUNNY WOMEN #149: Pilgrims Without Internet
The use of barn animals in unusual poses could be so amusing if transmitted broadly and with a sharp message! But that is not to be, and I must express my feelings, as usual, in cross-stitch.
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FUNNY WOMEN #148: The Hindenburg Review Writers’ Workshop
Welcome to the Hindenburg Review Writers’ Workshop!
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FUNNY WOMEN #147: Marketing Roundtable at Skinny Cow©
But is this implying enough that thin is the final message? I’m not sure. Sexy, we’ve nailed. But how do we make it clear thin is the goal?
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FUNNY WOMEN #146: New Rules for Lifeboat #3
After our discussion of pronoun usage, Keith will be addressed as The Pirate Formerly Known as Keith. (Respect each other’s journeys, please.)
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FUNNY WOMEN #145: The Mother of All Jobs
Why do you think God gave you those narrow hips, if not for wearing blue suit pants?
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FUNNY WOMEN #144: Food Reviews by Third Grader
This refined combination will transport taste buds into a state of euphoria matched only when capturing a rare Mewtwo on Pokémon Go.
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FUNNY WOMEN #143: Feminism, the Quiz
How often do you dissemble power structures with equal-opportunity daredevildom?
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FUNNY WOMEN #142: How to Be a Female Boss
An important part of being a female manager is letting the world know that you can have it all.
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FUNNY WOMEN #141: How to Write about Eastern Europe
Use words like “nostalgia,” “paranoia,” and “amnesia” liberally.
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FUNNY WOMEN #140: Five Types of Fruit Your Body Might Be Shaped Like
Don’t ask us why. We didn’t make the rules! We just reinforce them without asking questions.
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FUNNY WOMEN #139: Gap Year To-Do List
Water is a precious resource; my portable soda stream honors that fact.
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FUNNY WOMEN #138: Male Millennial Needs a Job
I like to think I’m a unicorn. Your unicorn.
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FUNNY WOMEN #137: Press Release for Zeitgeisty Book
Nothing will ever be ordinary again.
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FUNNY WOMEN #136: Recommendation Letter
RN Healey makes for excellent company because she bathes frequently and keeps her fingernails immaculate.
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FUNNY WOMEN #135: Personal G”wow”th
As you forge ahead on the journey called elementary school, each of these areas will be instrumental in helping you rocket to prosperity or plummet to repugnant mediocrity.
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