FUNNY WOMEN: Terms & Conditions of Your Egg Freezing Groupon
Must be eighteen or older, or Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend.
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Join NOW!Must be eighteen or older, or Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend.
...moreYou could be wrong. You’re not, but you could be.
...moreSorry for my obtuseness! I wish you the best of luck elsewhere!
...moreMeet Alex: a new smart speaker designed by the very best in Silicon Valley.
...morePay off the stork to remove your house from its route.
...moreWhen in doubt, revise.
...moreLaugh at all his jokes. All of ‘em.
...moreNew research shows that one in three Americans are “enemies of the people.”
...moreWhat’s black, yellow, waxy, and buzzing all over? Bee sex.
...moreWhen a girl isn’t smiling, watch out! She could be about to explode.
...moreLadies, we hear you. You can stop calling, emailing, and sending us your profanity-filled invectives.
...moreTime for a flip of the gender script!
...moreMark your calendars, gentlemen—and watch your backs!
...moreMeet your new email system Femail, for the woman who emails.
...moreThe words “behoove,” “cordially,” and “bedpan” are not looked upon favorably by the Dusty Jake staff.
...more[W]hat’s more thrilling than making the world more beautiful one haggard, agitated face at a time?
...moreI just want to share a little bit about myself—because despite the fact that my horrific death is the point of the show you’re enjoying, you’ve never actually heard my voice.
...moreFückit: When you’ve had enough, more than enough, but somehow enough is never enough, and I put wine in my cereal now.
...moreSo much can be learned from the writing habits of successful writers, but what can we learn from the ones who aren’t doing quite as well?
...moreDue to rising sea levels, most orchards have been flooded. Instead of apple picking, grab a canoe large enough for the whole family and climb aboard.
...moreA helpful trick can be to picture feminine words (pumpkin latte, duvet cover) as butterflies. Soft, delicate, hard to catch, and useless except near flowers. Masculine words are more like knives.
...morePresident Trump has suspended all H-1B visa processing, and He would like us to reevaluate several candidates who gained entry under the fashion-model exception.
...moreIf the eyes are the window to the soul, then the drapes should match the wallpaper. Fix what you got and then flaunt what you fixed!
...moreWe’ll be open as long as the National Endowment for the Arts is.
...moreNeed to write something for some reason? Here’s how.
...moreAs for your offer to help me make sure I am getting the right gear, this is another question that troubles me hourly. Am I getting the right gear?
...moreThe use of barn animals in unusual poses could be so amusing if transmitted broadly and with a sharp message! But that is not to be, and I must express my feelings, as usual, in cross-stitch.
...moreWelcome to the Hindenburg Review Writers’ Workshop!
...moreBut is this implying enough that thin is the final message? I’m not sure. Sexy, we’ve nailed. But how do we make it clear thin is the goal?
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