From the Archive: FUNNY WOMEN #139: Gap Year To-Do List
Water is a precious resource; my portable soda stream honors that fact.
...moreBecome a Rumpus Member
Join NOW!Water is a precious resource; my portable soda stream honors that fact.
...moreStretch. Listen in hundreds of different positions. Listen a little to the left; now a little to the right.
...moreUpon our union, it’s only a matter of time until our two wombs join to form a super-powerful uniwomb, not seen since ancient Mayan times…
...moreNOTE: Be sure to jot down all jokes before you stop breathing.
...moreOur nascent but well-established literary magazine is now open for submissions.
...moreMorning exercise can also ignite that creative spark. Try to outrun an oedipal prophecy
...moreHit me if you’re down for this excluze to all your compadbros.
...moreAfter approaching her, start a conversation by trying to guess her ethnicity.
...moreMrs. Rogers was angry. She was very angry.
...moreThis moment has come to its crisis. As you can see I really can’t be blamed.
...moreShe knows how to yell, but wouldn’t yell if her life depended on it.
...moreYou can take care of it in the morning. Just write yourself a note.
...moreGet creative! “Brian” could become “Bryawn,” courter of women, slayer of ogres.
...moreMy work starts before you even enter the Zoom room.
...moreThis is your invitation to respond to the 2020 Census.
...moreI thought my period would be the happiest, most active time of the month.
...moreThat’s how cool she was, not like his ex-girlfriend.
...moreBut enough about my credentials, which are copious.
...moreIf Holly invites five women over, what is the ratio of “fear” to “coven formation”?
...moreAre you wealthy? If so, heyyy.
...moreMust be eighteen or older, or Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend.
...moreYou could be wrong. You’re not, but you could be.
...moreSorry for my obtuseness! I wish you the best of luck elsewhere!
...moreMeet Alex: a new smart speaker designed by the very best in Silicon Valley.
...morePay off the stork to remove your house from its route.
...moreWhen in doubt, revise.
...moreLaugh at all his jokes. All of ‘em.
...moreNew research shows that one in three Americans are “enemies of the people.”
...more