I Will Blurb Any Book Within 24 Hours!

Mickey Hess bio ↓  ·  August 18th, 2010  ·  filed under books

Tired of waiting weeks or even MONTHS for back-cover endorsements from recognizable authors? I, Mickey Hess, will blurb any book – that’s right, ANY book – within 24 hours! Just look at these satisfied customers:

Blake Butler’s Scorch Atlas: “A novel featuring all-new scenes, Scorch Atlas is literature” – Mickey Hess

Tao Lin’s Bed: “Tao Lin emerges as a melancholic ghost in a cheerful century. What? In the here and now, Bed is a contrast between chaos and disillusionment, between disenchantment and the desire to imagine heaven” – Mickey Hess

Joe Meno’s Demons in the Spring: “This book is crammed with descriptions. As interesting as sex, it promises engrossing adventures and much, much more. Mulling it over in living quarters, humans have often quoted directly from the writings. Meno presents the entertaining, paperbound ideas humans deserve” – Mickey Hess

Hillary Frank’s I Can’t Tell You: “Humans have dedicated themselves to creating novels. Hillary Frank is one of these human novelists” – Mickey Hess

Jason Jordan’s Powering the Devil’s Circus: “A personal account, this shattering memoir shocked the world and returned to the United States. Jason Jordan is a charismatic maniac, an unflinching older brother who relates a universal tale about pulse-pounding, intriguing events” – Mickey Hess

Wred Fright’s The Pornographic, Flabbergasted Emus: “Brilliantly, it is possible to watch the book in the process of revising itself to death” – Mickey Hess

There are plenty more where those came from, trust me! Authors, contact me today at mickeyhess@gmail.com and LET’S GET BLURBING!!!

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Mickey Hess is the author of Big Wheel at the Cracker Factory (Garrett County Press, 2008) and a new novel called The Nostalgia Echo that nobody seems to want to publish. Big Wheel was featured as “Critic’s Choice” in The Chicago Reader, described as “thoroughly humorous” by The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, and mentioned online at The New Yorker, Poets & Writers, and USA Today. Mickey's stories and essays have been published in Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: Best of McSweeney’s Humor Category (Knopf, 2005), and such journals as The Literary Review, Hawaii Review, Fringe Fiction, Ninth Letter, Punk Planet, Fourteen Hills, Pear Noir, The Foundling Review, Opium Magazine, and Annalemma. Mickey is an Associate Professor of English at Rider University, and is also the author of three books about hip hop from Greenwood Press. More from this author →

10 Responses to “I Will Blurb Any Book Within 24 Hours!”

  1. Wred Fright Says:

    Mickey,
    Blog Love Omega Glee’s not finished yet, but please blurb it anyway!
    Cheers!
    Wred

  2. Mickey Hess Says:

    Shit yeah! Send me what you got and give me 24 hours.

  3. Ben Tanzer Says:

    Many thanks for the blurbage, and you did that in so under 24 hours. Brilliant.

  4. Theresa M. Moore Says:

    Okay, look on my site http://www.antellus.com and pick one or all of them. Read the previews I have posted for each one first.

  5. Mickey Hess Says:

    No way, Theresa. Choose one. I’m not some kind of magical blurbing android. Jesus.

  6. Wred Fright Says:

    The new novel’s being serialized on Wredfright.Com, Mickey, so it’s all online! Blurb away!

  7. Mickey Hess Says:

    Wred Fright’s Blog Love Omega Glee: “Goons and patriots, get ready! Wred Fright’s new novel scowls at your perfect sentences. There are gorgeous techniques and colorful dialogue, the book’s action, mood, the author himself. There are things this novelist should be allowed to do that the rest of us are not.” – Mickey Hess

    (I was maybe too hard on Theresa)

  8. Wred Fright Says:

    Ha! Great! Thanks! I owe you a blurb now, no I owe you two! Collect anytime you want!

  9. Mickey Hess Says:

    Wred,

    Could you write a blurb about what kind of job I did writing blurbs for you?

  10. PeterDee Says:

    You did indeed steer Theresa wrong; androids aren’t magical, they’re from Asia.

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