The infamous “She” of the “That’s What She Said” jokes has released a new tell-all book making shocking claims about the joke’s validity.
“No, I did not say that,” She [her real name is totally irrelevant] writes on the book’s cover and throughout the nine-hundred page point-by-point refutation of things She’s never said. “The joke takes a normal situation and makes it uncomfortable and juvenile for the sake of comedy. But jokes, like condoms, have a shelf life.”
For a closer look at life in the Slander Lane, we sat down with the eponymous She.
Magazine: It’s been a busy couple of years for you! Or so we hear…
She: Mostly likely I didn’t say anything about that. Please just start the interview.
Magazine: It says in your book that you are not actually the original “She.” Can you explain this?
She: When the joke started with Wayne’s World in the eighties it was in reference to my mother, who actually was a prostitute. After she gave birth to my twin sister and me, she cleaned up her act and loaned her name instead to the newly launched “Yo Mama” line. But being at the center of a pervasive joke that just won’t quit no matter how old it becomes was different with two kids to take care of, and she ended up taking her own life in an attempt to stop the jokes. Truly a tragic end.
Magazine: But the joke just wouldn’t go into the grave, would it? It kept coming in and out and in and out.
She: Right, my sister got pregnant in high school so the “Yo Mama” joke passed on to her in its modernized “Your Mom” form, e.g.”That’s the sound Your Mom made last night,” etc. I got left with “That’s What She Said.” There was a falloff in interest for both jokes around the turn of the millennium, so it wasn’t so bad for awhile. But then The Office happened.
Magazine: That’s right. Steve Carell constantly liked to dip his wick into that joke.
She: Yeah, and its popularity was unlike anything I had ever seen. Suddenly every Tom, Dick, and Dwight was claiming I’d said all these hyper-sexual things.
Magazine: And had you? Or were you too busy getting some stank on the hang low?
She: Anyone who’s talked to me for five minutes should know that I’d never say that. The allegations are vile, misogynistic, and patently false.
Magazine: How did that make you feel? You know, deep inside your clamburger?
She: I’m not really sure where you’re going with the clamburger thing, but it generally did not make me feel good. I can take a joke as well as the next girl. The first time Carell said it, I laughed. We all laughed. But that was nearly four years ago, and the original meaning of the joke has been lost. Eventually, if you imitate a douchebag for long enough, you’re just kind of a douchebag.
Magazine: That’s what…
She: No, I did not. Not in the context you’re about to give it.
Magazine: Let’s move on to some of the things you list in the book as the type of BS pipe most commonly laid into you. The three that like to be on top are “Get off my ass,” “Keep it up, guys!” and “We’ll have to go down there,” which, when placed in context, respectively refer to tailgating, cheering on teammates, and basement repair. But you don’t have a basement, only a downstairs. A downtown. A down there.
She: I hate sports and am constantly getting tickets for tailgating, not getting tailgated.
Magazine: That seems like a real bunch of hanky panky. Why aren’t you suing for millions?
She: It’s not the falsehood or the money I’m concerned with; it’s the fact that people still find this joke funny. I’ve talked to established comedians with certified senses of humor, as well as people with brains a quarter the size of a monkey’s nut, and they all fail to grasp the reasons behind the joke’s continued stronghold among the young, the hip, and the NBC viewing audience.
Magazine: Do you think it’s because most modern people are complete morons who, once they find a position that works for them, can’t adjust?
She: That probably has something to do with it. I think a lot of people have yet to be exposed to the term “beating a dead horse.”
Magazine: Or ass-chaps, for that matter. One last quickie if I can just slip it in–the other day I got back some dry cleaning and the lady at the Laundromat warned me that my clothes were stiff and hard to handle. Since I have you here, I just have to check: did you say that?
She: I absolutely did not say that.
Magazine: Honestly, I’m surprised. I really thought you said that.
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