Ted Wilson Reviews the World #92

By

GUANTANAMO BAY PRISON
★★★★★ (3 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Guantanamo Bay Prison.

A lot of people don’t like Guantanamo Bay because of how it’s a big prison full of innocent people who get treated in a way that is as close to the legal definition of torture as possible. I’m one of those people, but I always try to see the good side of things. So yes, Guantanamo Bay has it’s drawbacks, but knowing there’s nothing I can do to change it until I become President, I prefer to focus on things like the free meals the prisoners get, or that fact that they no longer have to worry about what career path to take.

I can see the lack of responsibility as being sort of a relief. Life is hard and a lot of it is hard because it’s up to you to make it work. As a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay there is no longer the lingering threat of decision. During the times when they aren’t being interrogated or crippled by the anxiety of wondering why they’ve been imprisoned or if they’ll ever get out, they can sit back, relax, and enjoy doing nothing.

Probably the best thing that separates Guantanamo Bay from the average prison is that prisoners don’t rape one another. Now I’m not saying there’s no rape in Guantanamo Bay, but if there is, I doubt it’s from another prisoner. They really keep them all under lock and key there.

For any prisoners who might manage to escape, they’ll find themselves only minutes from the Caribbean Sea and the city of Guantanamo. I’ve never been to either of those places, but from what the internet tells me, the Caribbean Sea is a beautiful place. I would love to vacation there!

I also like that not many prisons have cute nicknames like Gitmo!

When elected President, one of the first things I’m going to do is visit the prison. Not as a President, but as a prisoner. I will ask to be treated just like a prisoner so I can see what life is like for them. Then I’ll weigh the pros and cons (no pun intended, ha ha ha) to see if I think the prison should be closed. I’m guessing that’s why President Obama didn’t close it like he promised – because he couldn’t make up his mind.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing Louis Prima.


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