National Poetry Month Day 18: “b my apocalypse” by Laura Zaylea


b m y a p o c a l y p s e

b   m y   a p o c a l y p s e

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AA   A is for apocalypse
AA   A is for asphyxia
AA   A is for @@@ + &&&
BB   B is for breathless
BB   B is for broken
BB   B is for bound
CC   C is for choke me
CC   C is for consumed, completely
CC   C is for crazy, as in: sometimes she wonders if she has gone c____
DD   D is for down. up. sideways. diagonal
DD   D is for do. don’t. death. desire
DD   D is for duh. onomatopoeia. oooh
EE   E is for eeeeeeeeeeeeee
EE   E is for exhale. swallow his breath. swallow her breathless
EE   E is for exhale + inhale, the spaces i n  b e t w e e n + beyond
FF   F is for fuck me senseless
FF   F is for fuck me senseless. again. again. again. and. please. and. again.
FF   F is for fucking perfect
GG   G is for generative. generating. degenerative. degenerating
GG   G is for going. going. gone. goodbye to everything i thought i… new…
GG   G is for give, as in: to give one’s self, completely
HH   H is for hold me.
HH   H is for her. him. he. she. umemeu. meuume.
HH   H is for heartbleed
II   I is for nonfiction
II   I is for internal bleeding, figuratively speaking but nonetheless _ouch_
II   I is for anything U is 4
JJ   J is for juicy
JJ   J is for just at the edge, just past the edge; what edge? beyond edge.
JJ   J is for k is for l is for m is for n is for o is for p is for q
KK   K is for kiss me
KK   K is for c as j is for g (phonetic partners)
KK   K is for kissing + holding hands
LL   L is for what if we just call it l.o.v.e.?
LL   L is for what if we just call it l.i.f.e.?
LL   L is for what if we just call it love? death? life? nihilism vs surrender?
MM   M is for merge. melt. melt away. merge into
MM   M is for maybe; perpetual uncertainty
MM   M is for metaphor, but what could possibly be a metaphor for this?
NN   N is for need you. NEED. need you. need you. Need you. NEED. U
NN   N is for NOW
NN   N is for deleting the word “NO”
OO   O is for Oooooohhhhhhh Nooooooooo . . . what does that mean? “no”?
OO   O is for oh. my. god.
OO   O is for a typographic circle that looks like a donut
PP   P is for pain. Pleasure. Please.
PP   P is for pregnant with words – your words – inside me
PP   P is for pre post eternally timeless
QQ   Q is for query – asking with genuine curiosity + interest
QQ   Q is for queer
QQ   Q is for ?
RR   R is for rupture
RR   R is for ravenously, as in: she ate it like a raven. the bird of death.
RR   R is for more than rhetorical
SS   S is for something that cannot be / adequately described in language
SS   S is for “i-m-possible” – syntactic revolution or spelling error?
SS   S is for skin, as in: within and beyond the surface of
TT   T is for THIS
TT   T is for trust, as in: these activities require a great amount of t(h)rust
TT   T is for tell me everything ur dad says so I can say it 2 u (#daddy)
UU   U is for you
UU   U is for U+I
UU   U is for U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U++++U+U+U+U+U+U++++U!
VV   V is for very very much so
VV   V is for voice. vocal chords. open your mouth. stick out your tongue.
VV   V is for vulnerable
WW   W is for WTF + FTW + simply F, as in: oh f
WW   W is for weakness, as in: it is good to know about one’s weaknesses.
WW   W is for written. the process of writing + words becoming. more.
XX   X is for “+” gone sideways
XX   X is for XXX
XX   X is for not rated
YY   Y is for yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes y e s yes y e s YES YESYESYES
YY   Y is for yes
YY   Y is for yes please yes please yes no now yes no no yes now yes now
ZZ   Z is for zero resistance. 0
ZZ   Z is for zillions of words, languages, methods. None of them adequate.
ZZ   Z is for starting again with A; no end in sight

-Laura Zaylea

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Laura Zaylea is an interdisciplinary media artist. Her feature film Hold The Sun was awarded Best Avant-garde Film at the 2010 Amsterdam Film Festival. Her feature screenplay Closer Than Rust recently won the 2011 Atlanta Film Festival Screenplay Competition and is currently being converted into a multimedia iBook. Her locative media installation Speak2MeInCode is included in Avenues of Access: Online Archive of New ‘Born Digital’ Literature. Ms. Zaylea teaches media production at Temple University. @LauraZaylea,,

From time to time, The Rumpus publishes new poems. Check out this multimedia collection of poetry we've published. More from this author →