National Poetry Month Day 18: “b my apocalypse” by Laura Zaylea


b m y a p o c a l y p s e

b   m y   a p o c a l y p s e

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AA     A is for apocalypse
AA     A is for asphyxia
AA     A is for @@@ + &&&
BB     B is for breathless
BB     B is for broken
BB     B is for bound
CC     C is for choke me
CC     C is for consumed, completely
CC     C is for crazy, as in: sometimes she wonders if she has gone c____
DD     D is for down. up. sideways. diagonal
DD     D is for do. don’t. death. desire
DD     D is for duh. onomatopoeia. oooh
EE     E is for eeeeeeeeeeeeee
EE     E is for exhale. swallow his breath. swallow her breathless
EE     E is for exhale + inhale, the spaces i n  b e t w e e n + beyond
FF     F is for fuck me senseless
FF     F is for fuck me senseless. again. again. again. and. please. and. again.
FF     F is for fucking perfect
GG     G is for generative. generating. degenerative. degenerating
GG     G is for going. going. gone. goodbye to everything i thought i… new…
GG     G is for give, as in: to give one’s self, completely
HH     H is for hold me.
HH     H is for her. him. he. she. umemeu. meuume.
HH     H is for heartbleed
II     I is for nonfiction
II     I is for internal bleeding, figuratively speaking but nonetheless _ouch_
II     I is for anything U is 4
JJ     J is for juicy
JJ     J is for just at the edge, just past the edge; what edge? beyond edge.
JJ     J is for k is for l is for m is for n is for o is for p is for q
KK     K is for kiss me
KK     K is for c as j is for g (phonetic partners)
KK     K is for kissing + holding hands
LL     L is for what if we just call it l.o.v.e.?
LL     L is for what if we just call it l.i.f.e.?
LL     L is for what if we just call it love? death? life? nihilism vs surrender?
MM     M is for merge. melt. melt away. merge into
MM     M is for maybe; perpetual uncertainty
MM     M is for metaphor, but what could possibly be a metaphor for this?
NN     N is for need you. NEED. need you. need you. Need you. NEED. U
NN     N is for NOW
NN     N is for deleting the word “NO”
OO     O is for Oooooohhhhhhh Nooooooooo . . . what does that mean? “no”?
OO     O is for oh. my. god.
OO     O is for a typographic circle that looks like a donut
PP     P is for pain. Pleasure. Please.
PP     P is for pregnant with words – your words – inside me
PP     P is for pre post eternally timeless
QQ     Q is for query – asking with genuine curiosity + interest
QQ     Q is for queer
QQ     Q is for ?
RR     R is for rupture
RR     R is for ravenously, as in: she ate it like a raven. the bird of death.
RR     R is for more than rhetorical
SS     S is for something that cannot be / adequately described in language
SS     S is for “i-m-possible” – syntactic revolution or spelling error?
SS     S is for skin, as in: within and beyond the surface of
TT     T is for THIS
TT     T is for trust, as in: these activities require a great amount of t(h)rust
TT     T is for tell me everything ur dad says so I can say it 2 u (#daddy)
UU     U is for you
UU     U is for U+I
UU     U is for U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U+U++++U+U+U+U+U+U++++U!
VV     V is for very very much so
VV     V is for voice. vocal chords. open your mouth. stick out your tongue.
VV     V is for vulnerable
WW     W is for WTF + FTW + simply F, as in: oh f
WW     W is for weakness, as in: it is good to know about one’s weaknesses.
WW     W is for written. the process of writing + words becoming. more.
XX     X is for “+” gone sideways
XX     X is for XXX
XX     X is for not rated
YY     Y is for yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes y e s yes y e s YES YESYESYES
YY     Y is for yes
YY     Y is for yes please yes please yes no now yes no no yes now yes now
ZZ     Z is for zero resistance. 0
ZZ     Z is for zillions of words, languages, methods. None of them adequate.
ZZ     Z is for starting again with A; no end in sight

-Laura Zaylea

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Laura Zaylea is an interdisciplinary media artist. Her feature film Hold The Sun was awarded Best Avant-garde Film at the 2010 Amsterdam Film Festival. Her feature screenplay Closer Than Rust recently won the 2011 Atlanta Film Festival Screenplay Competition and is currently being converted into a multimedia iBook. Her locative media installation Speak2MeInCode is included in Avenues of Access: Online Archive of New ‘Born Digital’ Literature. Ms. Zaylea teaches media production at Temple University. @LauraZaylea,,

Original poetry published by The Rumpus. More from this author →