If you really, really need something from a person, ask in the right ear. Especially if you’re in a club in Italy and need a cigarette.

Speaking of cigarettes, D. J. Stout has some marketing ideas that will fulfill the new regulations just signed into law. Like Kevin Smith has been doing his whole career.

If this happens, William & Mary will replace UC-Santa Cruz as the university with my favorite mascot. Not by much, mind you, but it will happen.

What would happen if Jack Chick got mashed together with H. P. Lovecraft?

And finally, if you’re not quite obnoxious enough, here’s a t-shirt just for you