With Those Super Sweet Coifs, How Could It Not Be

…that Cotton Top Tamarins are Metallica fans?

 

Thanks to one Professor Charles Snowdon of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, the world finally has some answers on a vexing issue of our time!

While the rest of us were content to fuck around with plants listening to Mozart for the fifth grade science fair — I mean, really, we all already knew that tomatoes enjoy the charm of Der Zauberfloete — Snowdon stepped it up by subjecting some adorably fuzzy-head primates to Bach, Miles Davis, a little Zep, and a dose of Ride The Lightning.

Guess which one calmed them down the most? That’s right. And naturally, they preferred the early years. Nothing after And Justice For All. That stuff is for pussies. Or Pygmy Tarsiers.

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Joshuah Bearman has written about CIA missions, jewel thieves, deranged private investigators, aspiring Fabios, bitter rivalry among dueling Santa Clauses, and the metaphysical implications of being the world's greatest Pac Man player. His article for Wired became the movie Argo.

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The Rumpus publishes original fiction, poetry, literary humor writing, comics, essays, book reviews, and interviews with authors and artists of all kinds. Our mostly volunteer-run magazine strives to be a platform for risk-taking voices and writing that might not find a home elsewhere. We lift up new voices alongside those of more established writers our readers may already know and love. We want to bring new perspectives into the conversation that will make us all look deeper.

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