Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #23

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How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t go to the hospital, Doug? I’m a Christian Scientist! It goes against my beliefs to have health insurance. Plus it saves me a shit-ton of money. How do you think I could afford the dirt bike in the first place? Shit, Doug, I think that’s a major artery. If you want to help, hold my hand and pray for the bleeding to stop.

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Kyle Kinane has been performing in bars in cities in nations for ten years. He was called "bleak and misanthropic" by the London Evening Standard, which may or may not be a compliment. He is a comedian. More from this author →