CRYING
★★★★★ (5 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing crying.
Crying is a great way of showing people you’re sad or in pain. It’s more subtle than yelling out, “My feelings are hurt!” or “I’ve wounded myself!” (Such proclamations make one seem needy.) That’s why crying is meant for when there are people around. I’ve never understood people who cry alone – nobody will see that except for Peeping Toms. It’s a waste of perfectly good moisture that could better utilized for sweat or saliva or other secretions. Crying alone is just careless.
Whenever I begin to cry and I’m alone I often run out into the street to show people, unless the tears are caused by an injury that prevents me from running. Then I might hobble or roll outside. If no one is nearby I’ll get in my car and drive around until I see a crowd of people. I’ll pull up and ask for directions, hoping someone will notice the tears running down my face. Then they’ll know.
If I feel like I’m going to stop crying before I can find anyone, I’ll take a photo of myself. Then I’ll mail it to someone I know, and on the back of the photo write, “thinking of you.” I don’t mention the tears in the photo because again, that wouldn’t be very subtle. This usually elicits a phone call from the recipient within a day or two. When he or she asks why I’m crying in the photo I say, “Oh, am I? I hadn’t noticed. I guess I must have been sad because of [insert whatever made me sad].”
That’s what crying does – it offers an opportunity to create a dialogue and discuss one’s feelings. Sometimes I’ll ask, “Why are you crying” to someone who isn’t, just as a means of starting a conversation. I’ve met a number of people that way. None of them have proven to be long-lasting friends, but at least they know I cared.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing a puzzle I can’t solve.
