Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #26

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Shit, I put my cyanide pill in the same pocket as my Mentos again. What? Why do I carry around Mentos? Fresh breath, dummy. Oh, the other thing. Because, Doug, I know things. Let’s just say there was a lot of “intelligence” I collected before they kicked me out of the National Guard.

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Kyle Kinane has been performing in bars in cities in nations for ten years. He was called "bleak and misanthropic" by the London Evening Standard, which may or may not be a compliment. He is a comedian. More from this author →