Kyle Kinane’s I’m Dead and It’s All My Fault #46

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Got one raft for me, one for the twelver of Coors Light, and one for the boom box. This is how you throw a pool party, Doug! Of course I’m using the extension cord. You see the cost of D-cell batteries these days? Well, unless you want to sit there and sing all of ZZ Top’s “Eliminator” while I soak in this beautiful afternoon, I suggest you leave that thing plugged in. Now fuck off. You’re blocking my sun.

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Kyle Kinane has been performing in bars in cities in nations for ten years. He was called "bleak and misanthropic" by the London Evening Standard, which may or may not be a compliment. He is a comedian. More from this author →