Angie is my nineteen-month-old son Charlie’s nanny. She’s been living with us since October 12, 2010. Angie is thirty years old, and is currently reading John Williams’s novel Stoner.
Tom DeMarchi: How long have you been nannying?
Angie Lucas: My only other job was for three months, three years ago. Two months with you. That’s five months.
Tom: What made you become a nanny?
Angie: I was a preschool teacher for several years at McGregor Baptist, my church here in Fort Myers. Nannying was a natural progression.
Tom: Would Jesus be a good nanny?
Angie: In the Bible He said, “Let the little children come to me.” He loved everyone.
Tom: What do you think of when I say the word “rumpus”?
Angie: I think of dancing. I like to Salsa. Will anybody read this? Should I be worried? I have very conservative friends. I go to a Southern Baptist church.
Tom: What’s that got to do with conservatism? Jesus hung out with prostitutes.
Karen [my wife]: No befriending prostitutes!
Tom: I’m not Jesus.
Angie: You can say that again.
Tom: Have you ever read The Rumpus?
Angie: I read an article about Nurse Ratched, from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The writer made Ratched a sympathetic character, which really made me look at her in a whole new way.
Tom: Would Nurse Ratched be a good nanny?
Angie: She’s not someone I really look up to.
Tom: What’s your favorite book to read to Charlie?
Angie: Charlie Parker Played Be Bop.
Tom: Whenever your phone rings I hear Phil Collins. Of the millions of songs available as ring tones, why “Sussudio?”
Angie: It’s a happy song, and I love Phil Collins.
Tom: What exactly do you love about Phil Collins?
Angie: His beautiful bald head.
Tom: Are you a groupie? You have a grocery receipt with Cliff Williams’s autograph. [Williams is AC/DC’s bassist.]
Angie: When I worked at Publix, he came through my checkout. I was nineteen and had never met a famous person before. I asked for his autograph and all I had was receipt paper. He wrote, “For Angie. Love, Cliff Williams. AC/DC.” And he drew the little lightning bolt between AC and DC.
Tom: Is that nail polish remover you’re sniffing?
Angie: I’m trying out a new color—it’s called Full Metal Jacket.
Tom: Big Kubrick fan? Do you model your nannying style after Alex from A Clockwork Orange or Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket?
Angie: Depends on my mood.
Tom: When you’re not nannying, what do you do?
Angie: Hang with my friends. Shop. Get my hair done. Manicures, pedicures. Typical girl stuff.
Tom: Is your hair a different color than it was this morning?
Angie: Raven. Thanks for noticing.
Tom: How do you find your living quarters?
Angie: Peaceful. I love the wind chimes.
Tom: What’s the best thing about being a nanny?
Angie: Getting to know Charlie. He’s easy to love.