Varun and I met shortly before we graduated from college, and then I moved across the country. We remained in good touch until he visited me. We fought and then we didn’t talk for a long while until now.
This was an excuse to ask him all the questions I’ve been wanting to ask him since that fight.
***
Rachel: So, why did you beg to be my friend two years ago?
Varun: I never begged to be your friend. You kept sitting next to me in the library.
Rachel: Excuse me? Okay, maybe. But you wanted it.
Varun: I didn’t oppose it.
Rachel: So, why have we never had sex? And why did you kick me out of your apartment in the freezing cold, snowy night at 3 a.m. that time I fell asleep in your bed with a pizza?
Varun: We’ve never had sex because I wanted you as a friend. I liked how we could open up to each other and I was scared to have a physical relationship with you that might compromise how we communicated. Also, you had some details on my penis that I did not want you to have. You gained them through unfair measures.
Rachel: Those details were unwillingly offered to me by a friend!
Varun: Also, it wasn’t snowing the night I kicked you out.
Rachel: Yes, it was! Snow everywhere! So, when did you realize you wanted to be my friend forever?
Varun: I think I realized after our first big fight.
Rachel: Which one?
Varun: Which one! When I visited you.
Rachel: Why do you think we fought?
Varun: We fought because 1. We didn’t understand each other at that moment and in general, 2. You thought I was being annoying and sometimes when I repeat things I am, but don’t mean to be, 3. You were frustrated to have me in your bed and not touch me, but 4. You were glad you had someone to fart on secretly.
Rachel: I DID NOT WANT TO TOUCH YOU, but otherwise, everything else is true.
Varun: At least butt to butt touch.
Rachel: It’s warmer! So, what made you realize you wanted to be my friend forever?
Varun: I left and we didn’t talk for a while. A few months later, I thought to call you, but I wasn’t sure if I should and that made me feel weird like I lost something. Not something metaphorically. I felt like I lost a coin, like a penny, and I wanted to find that penny and for it to be heads up when I found it.
Rachel: Last question. The ‘ol When Harry Met Sally debate: Can men and women really be friends?
Varun: Aren’t we? I have a lot of female friends. Some I’ve dated and some I haven’t. I really love some of them as friends and others (you fall into this category) bother me to no end. Men and women can be friends. It just takes some work at times.
Rachel: You’re a genius.
Varun: I’ve been told that before.
