The poster person for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a war veteran, which isn’t surprising given that anywhere from 11 to 20 percent of veterans of the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan are diagnosed as sufferers. But it’s not solely a soldier’s disorder.
Mac McClelland, who reports on human rights issues for Mother Jones, and who we interviewed for The Rumpus in August of 2010, also deals with PTSD, and has written a powerful piece on the subject for Good titled, “I’m Gonna Need You to Fight Me On This: How Violent Sex Helped Ease My PTSD.” It’s a powerful and moving piece, and one that might disturb people, especially those who’ve been the victims of sexual violence because there are some pretty graphic scenes in the essay, but it’s worth reading.
In fact, I’m going to go one step farther and say it’s important to read, because it’s important to understand who PTSD affects and how it might affect them, and it opens a window into the reasons why people who suffer from PTSD might act in ways which seem strange or even self-destructive to outsiders. Go read it. You won’t be sorry.
2 responses
This was an outstanding essay. It was nice to see someone who is not in the military talk about PTSD to increase awareness of the range of people who are affected by it.
As for “…MAY SEEM strange or even self-destructive to OUTSIDERS”: Getting someone to hit me IS harmful to myself, even when done with the intention to heal. McClelland recognized that in her essay when describing her prior attempt at having violent sex at gunpoint with some “local guy” (which she refrained from because of the gun not having a safety) by commenting “I am not COMPLETELY nuts.” So, this insider seems to have evaluated her own desire as strange and maybe self-destructive here, don’t you think? That’s quite normal, too, usually their own actions are quite disturbing and unexplainable to PTSD-sufferers themselves – that’s part of why it’s a disease and they want to get rid of it.
And don’t you think it’s legitimate to ask – and it looks like McClelland on some level is doing so herself – whether this attempt to cure herself was acting-out or self-therapy? Even if it WAS successful – why choose such a high-risk option? She couldn’t KNOW it would work and her first intent (which I’m very glad she refrained from) apparently involved a stranger she couldn’t possibly have trusted on any reliable basis. So, yes, this action HAS a strange and self-destructive side to it.
By no means should anyone criticize her for that – she was dealing with emotions so intense many of us will never have. But as she is doing a bit of public self-reflection* here, exposing herself for raising maybe not only awareness, but insight – I think we owe her some authentic reactions.
*No, NOT as in “narcissistic”, but as in “thinking about herself”
(All CAPITALS by me)
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