Run Yvonne, Run


Yvonne is the craftiest farm animal to evade slaughter since Wilbur.

After this six-year old German cow ran away en route to the slaughterhouse back in May, she’s been on the loose, making headlines, garnering sympathy from the public and once running into a police car before making yet another seamless getaway. She is so effortlessly elusive—helicopters, search parties of volunteers and a 10,000 euro reward have all been part of the search to get Yvonne back. Recent sightings revealed that she has shed her domestic ways for the wild forest life, though authorities are still hoping to get back come October.

Sam Riley is an adult who works at McSweeney's. More from this author →