NETFLIX
★★★★★ (1 out of 5)
Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of everything in the world. Today I am reviewing Netflix.
Netflix is a website that lets you get movies from the internet. I heard that taking movies off the internet is illegal, so I don’t understand how Netflix is still in business. My guess is they are paying off the cops, or maybe because they operate by mail and the internet, they are too hard to find. Either way, Netflix seems very suspicious to me.
They’ve also ripped of their business model by basically being a combination of Blockbuster and U-Tube. Anyone can combine two successful things to make a third. Ferraris and jet planes. Bacon and marshmallows. Money and alcohol. See? Now I’m a start-up! Netflix doesn’t even offer any of the tasty refreshments that Blockbuster does. What’s the fun in watching a movie if you aren’t eating a giant package of Twizzlers?
The one thing they do that U-Tube doesn’t is mail you videos through the mail. I wish U-Tube would do that. I called to request it once when my internet was off and I wanted to watch some cat videos, but the nice woman there said it’s physically impossible for them to do that. I took this to mean they staff only the disabled, so I apologized and thanked her for her time. If U-Tube had a store I would definitely go there to rent videos.
If Netflix wants to gain the trust of the average person, they should consider opening a store. Having friendly faces associated with their brand would be a simple way to encourage a sense of community rather than being the mysterious, faceless corporation they currently are. It wouldn’t even be that difficult to do. They could buy the ailing Blockbuster stores. This would also be a good way of providing their service to people who don’t have internet connections. It seems very elitist of them to only offer movies to people with computers.
Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing phlegm.
